Grief to children

 They cry to their mothers, "Where is bread and wine?" as they faint like a wounded man in the streets of the city, as their life is poured out on their mothers' bosom.

Lamentations 2:12

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The ESV study bible notes for this verse that, 

"Children cry out to their mothers for food, only to die in their mothers’ arms. Adult sins cause grief to children."

I am not familiar with Lamentations. I've read it only to be overwhelmed by the images of destruction, sorrow, and pain. And yet, it is a book filled with hope in repentance, hope in God's mercies.

Even still, there are tough pills to swallow. It feels insufficient to call it that. The image of a dying baby in the arms of a helpless mother is striking and unfathomable. But the bible notes that this was all a just punishment from God for the sins of the people.

Adult sins cause grief to children... how much so this pertains in my life. I see the very sins and patterns of sins even in my children. They are not yet even in the double digits and yet I see so many of my own sinful tendancies in them. They see, and observe, and follow my actions, my words. My lack of care and frustrations. All of it seeps out of me and unto them. They are not without sin, but I do see the impact my own actions have had on them.

This verse calls me to repent. Repent of my waywardness, my sin, my disregard for God and his Word.

Even after reading the bible yesterday, and praying, I was quickly falling into frustration and anger towards my children during the night. All because of simple inconveniences that are typical of young children. 

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Lord, help me. Restore in me the longing to do good, not for the sake of performance, but because my heart is compelled by love.

Lead me Lord to repentance by your kindness. May I remember the hope I have in Christ, given to me freely. May my heart be captivated by His love once again. Renew in my my first love. Renew in me a longing to walk the narrow path that leads to true joy. 

Help me, Lord. Forgive me, Lord.

Jesus, thank you for your grace and mercy in my life. Protect my children, my family from the sins of their father. Rid me of generational sins that seek to live on. I trust that it has all been covered, dealt with, by Your blood.

In Jesus name, Amen.