random thoughts on church, sin, redemption.

I believe in Jesus. I believe that God loves the church. I believe we are the church. A church is not a building. I believe we are the bride of Christ, as a church.

And it is recently that I have seen how damaged and broken and sinful we are, through the church.

I have seen people walk in disobedience. I have seen people fighting, arguing, saying things without thinking within the church. I have seen bloodshed, tears, and bitterness being sown within the church.

I have seen firsthand, enemies being made. I have seen people ignoring one another at the lunch table. I have seen pastors mistrusting his elders. Elders mistrusting one another.

I see, and know that church is not perfect. "It is a hospital for sinners. It is hardly a museum for saints."

I have witnessed my heart becoming cold. Hardened to people that betrayed us. I saw my own self-righteousness creeping in and bitterness taking root.

Through the church I have been able to see the clearest picture of how deep our sin goes. I have seen how wretched we are apart from grace. I have seen how religious we can become, yet having no fellowship. I have seen and felt the pain and frustration of seeing people in need of repentance, continue to walk in pride.

But i have also seen the grace of God. The mercy of God. The faithfulness of God.

I know and believe that one day, God will redeem the church. I believe that Christ will return to reclaim His bride and make her what she was meant to be and look like.

I believe that we, as a church, will always have flaws. We will always have sin. We will always fail to be what God intended for us.

But His mercy is greater. His grace is sweet. His love is total.

We are all in need of this grace, always. We must look to the Cross. We must see how deep our sin goes, and how powerful and costly His redemption was.

How incredibly frustrating this is...and yet, how hopeful I am.