life, as it stands right now. 2019.

Life is moving quickly.

It's been months since my last post.

I took a quick trip down memory lane, looking through my old posts here.
It's funny (slightly cringe-y) to hear myself circa 2000s.

Yet at the same time, a lot of thoughts I had back then, are still consistent now, some decades+ later.

I've definitely grown up, but some things haven't changed much either.

I do find myself at a completely different place. At least that's how it feels. But a lot of my inner, deep thoughts have been pretty consistent.

One consistent thought: the longing for days of old.

There's something intensely nostalgic in my spirit that makes me long for the past.

I initially allow my heart to entertain these emotions. It feels good to let these feelings wash over me.

It can be a song, a memory, a picture of old stomping grounds. A smell. A thought.

But I'm also aware that it might not be healthy. I need to look forward. I want to be excited about what's ahead.

God is still my guide. I love Him. But at this stage of my life - I feel like I'm wandering, trying to fight through each day, and this season.

And what happens always, is that my future self will always look back to my present self, and long for those days.

So I guess all this to say: I need to enjoy the moment now - because I will miss some part of it in the near future.