sokin's devotional 79 - being honest

O God, we have heard with our ears,

our fathers have told us,
what deeds you performed in their days,
in the days of old:
you with your own hand drove out the nations,
but them you planted;
you afflicted the peoples,
but them you set free;
for not by their own sword did they win the land,
nor did their own arm save them,
but your right hand and your arm,
and the light of your face,
for you delighted in them.
You are my King, O God;
ordain salvation for Jacob!
Through you we push down our foes;
through your name we tread down those who rise up against us.
For not in my bow do I trust,
nor can my sword save me.
But you have saved us from our foes
and have put to shame those who hate us.
In God we have boasted continually,
and we will give thanks to your name forever. Selah
But you have rejected us and disgraced us
and have not gone out with our armies.
You have made us turn back from the foe,
and those who hate us have gotten spoil.
You have made us like sheep for slaughter
and have scattered us among the nations.
You have sold your people for a trifle,
demanding no high price for them.
You have made us the taunt of our neighbors,
the derision and scorn of those around us.
You have made us a byword among the nations,
a laughingstock among the peoples.
All day long my disgrace is before me,
and shame has covered my face
at the sound of the taunter and reviler,
at the sight of the enemy and the avenger.
All this has come upon us,
though we have not forgotten you,
and we have not been false to your covenant.
Our heart has not turned back,
nor have our steps departed from your way;
yet you have broken us in the place of jackals
and covered us with the shadow of death.
If we had forgotten the name of our God
or spread out our hands to a foreign god,
would not God discover this?
For he knows the secrets of the heart.
Yet for your sake we are killed all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.
Awake! Why are you sleeping, O Lord?
Rouse yourself! Do not reject us forever!
Why do you hide your face?
Why do you forget our affliction and oppression?
For our soul is bowed down to the dust;
our belly clings to the ground.
Rise up; come to our help!
Redeem us for the sake of your steadfast love!
Psalm 44

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Why it is that often times, Christians just cant seem to be honest with their words with not just others but with God, is really perplexing. 

This is something I've had to catch myself doing because I'm so attuned to praying phrases and words that I've always said, and I completely lose the purpose of why I'm praying in the first place.

I've seen this to be especially true in Korean-American worship contexts because we like to pray loud and proud. Everyone is praying their lungs out to God but I wonder how much of their honest heart confession is being poured out.

I'm not against "korean-style" prayer, but I am just noting how easy it is for us to forget the purpose behind our prayers and just give lip-service to the King.

I posted Psalm 44 in its entirety because I think it is worth looking at as a whole.

We see in the first section (vs. 1-8) where we see that the Psalmist is not buttering God up but simply commenting on how God has been faithful in the past.

But we see a change of tone and pace in the subsequent verses in vs. 9-22 where the Psalmist is being honest before God - dare I say , brutally honest to God. Although the Psalmist is able to remember God's faithfulness, he is not experiencing it in his life at the moment. God is faithful to him, yes, but he has no idea where that faithfulness has gone. On the contrary, it seems the Psalmist feels like God is almost going against His own very nature. (vs. 20-22)

He remarks how although they are remaining faithful, God is not providing in the way He did in the past and also notes how this is all making God look very bad.

In a sense the Psalmist is saying, "God! You are faithful, but where is your faithfulness to us right now?! We are being mocked and ridiculed and more than us looking bad, God you are looking bad to the world right now! And we just don't understand why...God what are you doing?"

I love that. 

Honest words, being spoken not as a means of bad mouthing God and cursing Him out, but just being so completely honest and bare before Him. 

God already knows how we are thinking and feeling - why should we mince our words when we are talking to Him?

Finally, the Psalmist ends his prayer to God by basically saying, "God! Move! Act! Do what you do and save us! We have no hope but you!"

Although the Psalmist is being uncomfortably honest with the Lord, he never in a single moment loses sight of the fact that God is ultimately the one that will redeem them and save them. The Psalmist never turns to other Gods - this is not a prayer of "screw you God", but a prayer of "God, you are faithful and you will be faithful. Help us!"

Maybe we need to stop praying so many words and use the few to convey our real heart and attitudes.

Lord, may it be so!