rocks cry out!

sokin's devotional 33 - in season and out of season

2012-01-19T08:38:00.000-08:00

"preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage - with great patience and careful instruction."
2 timothy 4:2

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There is no "off-season" for the Christian. We are called to be ready in season and out of season. We may not always be in that "mode", but we must surely be ready to correct, rebuke and encourage when necessary.

We have to be ready to preach the Gospel in every circumstance. Not just on mission projects. Not just when we are out during a witnessing hour. We are called to preach the Word when we are riding on the bus. We are called to live out the Gospel when we are in the cafeteria eating. We are called to shine the light of the Gospel in all our interactions throughout the day.

In every moment, in every opportunity, preach the Word. Be ready always. You never know when the Lord will use you next.

sokin's devotional 32 - equipped for good works

2012-01-18T08:50:00.000-08:00

"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."
2 timothy 3:16,17

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The Word of God is useful for many things. Paul lists out 4 here:

1. teaching - the Word can teach us how to live, how to act, how to conduct ourselves in this life.
2. rebuke - the Word tells us that the Word (heh) can cut to the bone and marrow of our hearts and souls. The Word has the ability to bring us to repentance and reveal our sins. (hebrews 4:12)
3. correcting - The Word not only convicts us of our sins and wrongdoings, but it provides a solution. It gives us instruction and correction from our wayward ways. All correction is in light of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and how His atoning work on the cross has corrected the very fabric of our souls so that the basis of our good living relies first on the freedom found in the Cross.
4. training - Like a good athlete or a soldier at war, the Word trains us and builds us up so that we can live faithfully in the midst of the darkness that surrounds us.

Not only is is good for these things but Paul tells us that the Word is also absolutely, positively, without-a-doubt necessary for us in order to do good works. Without the Word of God, the man of God is not equipped.

Without the Word, men of God cannot operate as men. (also for women)

We have to feast on the Word at every opportunity. Pray that scripture would be written upon our hearts so that we can recall His Word to teach, rebuke, correct, and train ourselves and others.

sokin's devotional 31 - strengthen your hands

2012-01-01T11:37:00.000-08:00

"They were trying to frighten us, thinking, 'Their hands will get too weak for the work, and it will not be completed.' But I prayed, 'Now strengthen my hands."
Nehemiah 6:9

---

Nehemiah and his builders faced opposition again and again for their work of completing the wall. They tried to scare them into thinking that other nations are against them and were plotting against them.

Most people might've stopped building the wall at this point. But Nehemiah continued to press forward. He understood that the Master Builder behind all of this was God, and if God desired it, it would come to pass.

So instead of reacting in fear, Nehemiah prayed for "strength in his hands."

For the very thing that the enemies hoped to instill fear into so that the Israelites would stop working, Nehemiah asked that their hands would be strengthened and thereby remain steadfast.

If it is in God's will, nothing can stop it. Do not be fearful of your circumstances. First, ask yourself, "is this what God desires? Is this something God will delight in me doing?" If you can answer that question with a 'yes', continue to pursue after completing your "wall." Keep building as Nehemiah did. Seek to honor God by asking for strength in the very areas of your weakness.

Nehemiah completed the wall. He kept going even when it seemed dangerous and unlikely.

Friends, keep building. Keep going. The Lord is with you.

sokin's devotional 30 - men must "fight"

2011-12-28T09:35:00.000-08:00

"After I looked things over, I stood up and said to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people, 'Don't be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes."
Nehemiah 4:14

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Not saying that men are called to be brawlers (although some scenarios does require that...), but the bible makes it clear that men are called to be fighters. Defenders. Care-takers of their families, and homes, and people.

Whatever you want to call it, the men of God must be exactly that - men. of. God.

We are not men of a weak person. We are not men of a human-being. We are men of God. God. The Almighty One. The One who holds the universe in His hands.

This should free us from feeble minded thoughts and weakly attitudes that lead to lukewarm actions.. It should bring us to take responsbility, take faith-based action, and have humble attitudes because this strength does not come from ourselves.

Nehemiah calls on his people to not just take up their building tools, but now to also take up their swords and bows and weapons to defend their city and their families.

Men are called to be fighters. Even when the opposition is tough and clearly stronger, men are to uphold their calling and God-given duties. And the assurance men can have is that, indeed, the "Lord, who is great and awesome"...will be with us. Never to forsake us or desert us.

God is like the ultimate Commander, while we are His generals, or captains. Ready to push forward against the enemy forces, even if we are outnumbered and outmatched. The victory already rests with Him.

Lord, make me the kind of man that models the attitudes of faith, action, and humility. Jesus, you are the ultimate Nehemiah. On the cross, you exemplified the weapon against sin and death. On the cross, you shed your blood, marking great humility and obedience to the Father. Make me more like you. May I take actions to defend and honor that of those around me, my family, and strangers who are oppressed. And may I do it with all my heart.

sokin's devotional 29

2011-12-26T08:21:00.000-08:00

"I tell you, use worldly wealth to gain friends for yourselves, so taht when it is gone, you will be welcomes into eternal dwellings."
Luke 16:9

"But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that lunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs."
2 Timothy 6:6-10

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We must seek to redeem our wealth, not strive for more just for the sake of. Justifying our quest for money by our faith can be unbiblical. It can lead us into ruin and destruction (v.9). Godliness is not a means to financial gains. (2 timothy 6:5)

God may grant favor in finances, yes...but the heart of that and the effects of prosperity must be for the sake of glorifying God with it.

Just like in Luke 16, we must utilize our wealth for eternal purposes..not for selfish gain. Doing so for selfish gain (or saying/thinking you are doing it for eternal things but having ulterior motives in your heart), will lead you down a path of sin, destruction, and potentially wandering from the faith.

Be careful of money and wealth! Sometimes, it is a tough calling/blessing to receive.

It takes godliness and complete submission to the Lord in order to not fall into sin with it.

It might even be a better/easier calling to be content with a few rather than be given the calling to have a lot.

sokin's devotional 28

2011-12-21T09:17:00.000-08:00

"choose my instruction instead of silver, knowledge rather than choice gold, for wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her."
"i love those who love me, and those who seek me find me."

proverbs 8:10, 11, 17

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Money can come and go, but wisdom cannot be taken away. Learn something once, and while you may need to practice repetition to learn it well, it will never be lost from you.

Such is the nature of wisdom. It is of far more value than anything else in the world. It is incomparable. The value and worth of wisdom is priceless.

The devastating thing about money and riches is that it takes a lot of work to get it, and often times may elude people. People seek after riches and few people gain it. More often than not, people will run after riches and lose their lives in the process.

Not the case with wisdom. If you love it, adore it, yearn for it, seek after it - you will certainly find it.

And nothing you desire can compare with it.

sokin's devotional 27

2011-12-10T07:31:00.001-08:00

"salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? it is fit neither for the soil nor for the manure pile; it is thrown out."

luke 14:34-35

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just before this statement, Jesus lists out some of the requirements and the costs of being a disciple.
He notes that one must
- "hate" (an expression of loving less) their father, mother, and themselves.
- carry their cross (an expression of living a life of perseverance in the midst of hardship)
- count the costs

Jesus uses 2 examples of building a tower and going war to show how foolish it would be for someone to not count the costs and consider the significance behind their actions beforehand.

have we considered the great significance and weight of being a disciple? that it is a life altering calling, and also a potentially hard one laden with struggles and persecution?

but be encouraged believer - the life with Christ is true life. a life without Him is nothing. place your trust in Him today!

"as surely as God places His children in the furnace, He will surely be in the furnace with them." -spurgeon

but in effect, Jesus is implying that a so called, "disciple", who does not consider the costs of becoming one, who does not adhere to the fundamental qualities of being a disciple, is like salt that loses its saltiness.

they become worthless. it begs the question..."were they ever salt to begin with?"

renew your commitment to God and consider the costs of being a disciple. we may fail here and there but the mercy and grace of our God is far greater. He is slow to anger and abounding in love. He will guide you in this if only you surrender to Him.

allow the finished work of Christ and the love exhibited in it compel you to be His true disciple today.

confession

2011-11-27T22:18:00.001-08:00

about 90% of the stuff i post here, or the talks i give on campus, or the quiet times i have etc...almost all of these things, i need to teach myself or remind myself. i am prone to forget.

i am quick to think, and write these thoughts down...but application has been proving to be most difficult.

i need help from God as much as the next person. i fail again and again...sin again and again. these posts, my thoughts, my tweets, my talks/sermons does not dictate the type of faith i am living out on a day-by-day basis.

i need You, so much God. i need a taste of my own medicine day in and day out. i dont want to be a hypocrite, but rather one that has integrity and where my words will carry its weight.

help me, Lord.

sokin's devotional 26 - opposition

2011-11-25T09:39:00.001-08:00

"then the peoples around them set out to discourage the people of Judah and make them afraid to go on building. they hired counselors to work against them and frustrate their plans during the entire reign of Cyrus king of Persia and down to the reign of Darius king of Persia."
Ezra 4:4-5

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by God's grace, the Israelites rightly returned to their homeland to rebuild the temple as per the decree by King Cyrus.

but immediately, they faced opposition. ESV study bible tells us that this deliberate persecution against the rebuilding of the temple by the "enemies of Judah and Benjamin" was over a span of about 20 years.

2 things to note here:

1. this will happen again and again
the people of God will always suffer undue punishment and persecution. the plans of God will almost always attract opposition and plans to thwart them. there will be opposition to the things of God. thats just the way the world works. God's ways and the Gospel are almost antithesis to the ways of this world and the desires of the flesh. (1 Corinthians 1:27, 2 timothy 3:12)

2. God's plans, if they are indeed His plans, will always and eventually succeed. - even though you may be hard pressed on every side, remember that if you are indeed following God's plans - they will succeed! we as believers have this promise given to us - that the Lord of all is sovereign over all and will reign over all. His plans will always succeed. as long as we dedicate it all to Him, and indeed if He wills it, it will happen.

so keep pressing on!

the paradoxical Gospel

2011-11-17T06:50:00.001-08:00

a paradox is described as being, " is a seemingly true statement or group of statements that lead to a contradiction or a situation which seems to defy logic or intuition"

i dont know how biblical or theologically sound this thought is but im beginning to feel more and more of how paradoxical the Gospel is.

at the core of the Gospel message is the truth that an innocent man who deserved glory for eternity, died for the wrongdoings of people that deserved punishment for eternity.

had Jesus never died for us, and we were all doomed to hell, that would've been just.

yet, this very God-man, died for us so that our fellowship with God could be restored.

elsewhere in the Scriptures, i see this dynamic happening again and again.

- the Gospel unites all believers, regardless of race or background, yet at the same time the Gospel divides the goat and the sheep. the repentant and the unrepentant. (luke 12:49-53)

- at the Cross we see both intense love but also intense justice. at the Cross, we see the horror of sin and the judgement of sin personified in the shedding of Jesus's blood, yet at the same time we see the furious, intense love and mercy of God.

- we see the forsakenness of an innocent man, and yet we also see the glory of God and the power of God in how Jesus took up all of our sin and bore it upon His shoulders to die for them.

- Jesus invites the weary and brokenhearted to come to Him and find rest. the scriptures tell us that we can cast our cares upon Him because He cares for us. the Word tells us that everlasting peace is found only in Him. yet also, Jesus warns us that to follow Him means to carry our cross. to be a disciple means a life marked by persecution and long suffering.

in our Christian life, we see the paradox again and again. we learn through maturity and God's grace that "the way down is the way up. to be low is to be high. the broken heart is a healed hart. the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit. the repenting soul is the victorious soul. to have nothing is to possess all. to bear the cross is to wear the crown. to give is to receive. the valley is the place of vision" (valley of vision poem)

we see people who have every reason to deny Christ and to reject Him, yet by grace, they are able to push through and praise God in the midst of difficult circumstances.

our lives simply do not make sense to the world. and sadly, this will be the case for all of life until Jesus returns. the Christian life just doesn't seem to make sense at times.

but believers, we know. we know that although we wont fully understand it, we will continue to "press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called us heavenward in Christ Jesus."

or maybe paradox is not the right word here. because while the Gospel does defy logic to a sense, it makes perfect sense because God's love is that powerful. the Gospel seems to lead to a contradiction (how could a holy God die for sinful man and yet maintain His holy justice?) - yet there is no contradiction in the sense that God, in doing so, never goes against His nature.

maybe the word im looking for here is not paradox. perhaps the word is mysterious. or awe-inspiring. confounding.

whatever the word is, the Gospel remains to be the greatest story every told, about the greatest man who ever lived who had the greatest love one could never find in anything/anyone else.

thank You, Jesus.

rest.

2011-11-16T21:41:00.001-08:00

from my tumblr (btw - sokinyoon.tumblr.com :)

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i have never fiended for a "break" or "rest" as much as i have wanted to in the past 24 hours.
im usually the type to push through things that demand physical alertness, but after one long sleepless night on tuesday - my body is revolting and finding it hard to recover.
i wanted to sleep in tomorrow but lo and behold, i found out that i have to lead morning prayer.
couple of thoughts came up as i thought about this:
1. rest is extremely important and very biblical. some people neglect this and make "staying up" an idol they must satisfy.
2. at the same time, we often like to complain that we "dont have much time to take a break." but i think we, in fact, have ample pockets of time we can actually rest, but internet and social media have made it progressively harder and harder to drown out the noise and find a quiet time in our brains. (for instance, instead of writing this entry, i could just easily...go sleep)
3. maybe God is trying to teach me something here (which He always is.) maybe, there IS a sliver of truth in the saying, "sleep is for the weak." maybe our desire for sleep is just an easy way out.
4. all it takes is one look at my parents - they wake up at 430am to go to morning prayer and then to work. and theyve been doing this year after year after year after year..... - and i realize that my(our) generation has lost a lot of the hardworking characteristics of past generations. we are very spoiled.

sokin's devotional 25 - your treasure dictates your worry

2011-11-10T08:47:00.000-08:00

"and do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it."

"for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

luke 12:29, 34

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the bible clearly tells us not to worry when it comes to our lives. we will be provided for! He will take care of us just as much as the birds of the air has food to eat and places to rest, we too, who are God's own children - how much more will He take care of our needs?

but this ability to be "worry-free" doesn't just click into our minds. It doesn't just happen.

reading this passage might make one think that we simply must stop worrying. but we know that this is nearly impossible.

there is a lot of problems, lot of things to deal with in our lives. Christianity is not like those other religions, or philosohopies which tells the believer to just simply transcend above their problems; to reach a higher level of mental strength so that all of a sudden, we are "worry-free."

no. Jesus goes on further to explain why and how exactly we are able to be worry free.

it depends on your treasure.

Jesus says, "where your treasure is, there your heart will be."

what is your treasure? if your treasure, your goal, your most prized possessions fall upon the things of the world, that is where your heart will be. and your heart will never be satisfied and never worry-free. our fleshly, earthly desires are not easily quenched.

but if your treasure is Jesus, if your treasure is of Him who is of infinite profit, then your heart will be without worry.

your heart will learn to rest and rely on the grace of our Lord Jesus, and you will find slowly but surely, that there is no worry for those that place their trust in their Savior.

do not force yourself to be "worry-free" just because you know the truth.

seek your treasure, find your treasure, make your treasure in Him who was the one who told you not to worry.

make your treasure Christ, and you will find the ability to be at peace in the raging seas and stormy days of life.

sokin's devotional 24 - be humble, be raised up. be prideful, be brought down.

2011-11-08T08:39:00.000-08:00

"His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse, nor His delight in the legs of a man; the Lord delights in those who fear Him, who put their hope in His unfailing love."
psalm 147:10,11

"but after Uzziah became powerful, his pride led to his downfall. He was unfaithful to the Lord his God, and entered the temple of the Lord to burn incense on the altar of incense."
2 chronicles 26:16

"then He said to them, 'watch out! be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.'"
luke 12:15

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Spurgeon writes, "For the way upward is downhill. When we are stripped of self we are clothed with humility, and this is the best of wear."

We see an interesting dynamic happening all throughout scripture, and especially in the old testament.
Sometimes i read the old testament books like judges, and Chronicles and i feel like it should be titled, "people suck but God's faithfulness is stronger."

Time and time again, people start off well, some start off REALLY well, and their pride gets to them. When things go well, they lose sight of God and their pride becomes their downfall.

For those that remain humble in the Lord, God exalts to the highest place. Case in point - Jesus.

But all of my life, i see the same dynamic happening and I have to catch myself.
Are my good circumstances causing me to sin? Are my good standings with people bringing me into areas of pride and self-exaltation?

Things that we take pride in on this earth is here today, and gone tomorrow. The thing that is most important is our eternal destiny. This is not home. Our treasures are not here.

We must live lives with eternal perspectives. Seeing how small we truly are and how vastly we are loved by an Almighty and Infinite God will immediately place us at a humble position before Him.

This is what He desires and this is what will He delights in.

ESV study bible note on Luke 12:10

2011-11-04T08:59:00.001-07:00

i love the ESV Study Bible. by far, one of the most useful resources ive ever used.

here is the footnote on a passage that trips up a lot of Christians. hopefully, it will help someone out there.

"and everyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but the one who blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven."
Luke 12:10
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Luke 12:10 Speaks a word against … will be forgiven versusblasphemes against … will not be forgiven. Jesus closes this occasion of teaching his disciples (v. 1) with one of the most enigmatic, debated, and misunderstood sayings of his ministry. Key to understanding this passage is the distinction Jesus makes between, on one hand, the extreme case of blasphemy against “the Holy Spirit” and, on the other hand, the lesser case of speaking in an dishonorable way against “the Son of Man.” One who asks to be forgiven for disrespectful words hastily spoken against Jesus (the Son of Man) will be forgiven. (Note, e.g., Peter’s rejection of Jesus [see 22:54–62] and his subsequent restoration [John 21:15–19].) But blasphemy against the Holy Spirit—that is, the persistent and unrepentant resistance against the work of the Holy Spirit and his message concerning Jesus (cf. Acts 7:51)—this, Jesus says, will not be forgiven. The person who persists in hardening his heart against God, against the work of the Holy Spirit, and against the provision of Christ as Savior, is outside the reach of God’s provision for forgiveness and salvation. Christians often worry that they have committed this sin, but such a concern is itself evidence of an openness to the work of the Spirit (see also notes on Matt. 12:31–32 and Mark 3:29).

validation

2011-10-27T10:06:00.000-07:00

a thought that occurred to me this morning: (im sure this thought was planted some time ago by tim keller...i think he says something along these lines)

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what is your validation? what/who gives you validation?

what or who, if it were to acknowledge, praise, love you, would make you feel worthy, worthwhile, validated?

be set free! you have all the heavenly validation from the sovereign God, through our Lord Jesus Christ.
He is your validation.

get out of that mentality and thinking that something or someone needs to give you the validation you need in life.

we are justified! not just forgiven. but justified.

sokin's devotional 23 - live well, die well

2011-10-27T10:03:00.000-07:00

"Asa was angry with the seer because of this; he was so enraged that he put him in prison. At the same time Asa brutally oppressed some of the people."

2 Chronicles 16:10

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To get a good understanding of Asa's story, you should read chapters 14-16 to get the whole picture.

In essence, King Asa was a good king. He sought the Lord early in life and did good in His eyes. Asa placed his trust in the Lord to help him deal with wars and was even a mouthpiece against Israel to show them their sin in turning away from the Lord.

For this, God brought victory to Asa's reign and peace lasted during his time.

But towards the latter part of his life and reign, Asa began to falter. When faced with the imposing threat of the Israel against Judah, Asa did not seek God but instead turned to a foreign king to get him out of trouble. He even used the temple silver and gold to pay respects to the king.
When he was confronted with this folly by a prophet, Asa committed the first act of persecution against a prophet by sending him to prison.

Eventually, Asa contracted an illness in his feet and did not seek healing from the Lord, but only sought physicians. (not saying that medical science is obsolete for the believer; rather, the posture of Asa's heart was such that he did not think about seeking the Lord in this matter at all - Asa's handling of this situation basically implied that he thought medicine could do a better job at healing than God, Himself.)

What does this teach me?

Living our life for God is not a once in a while type of deal. It is a "whole life" surrender. One must learn not just how to live well, but also to die well.

Towards the end of his life, Bill Bright (founder of Campus Crusade for Christ) regularly asked his closest friends to pray that in his death and dying (he had a type of lung cancer), that he would not do anything or say anything that would not give glory to God.

In affliction and troubles, Asa fell hard and quickly. He was still a good king overall, but what a shame it is to see that he didn't die well.

Let's live our lives for the glory of God. But when the time comes, and when troubles, hardships, health issues pile upon us, lets also learn to respond to these things with the glory of God in mind.

sokin's devotional 22 - redeem your words

2011-10-25T09:24:00.000-07:00

"set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips."
psalm 141:3

"therefore, encourage each other with these words."
1 thessalonians 4:18

"she had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what He said."
luke 10:39

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Use your words to bless, encourage. Not to kill, destroy, and put down.

'Speak once, listen twice' - is the old adage. But this wisdom shouldn't just stop with those instructions. The follower should also take notice as to what is actually being said.

I remember having quite a potty mouth developing in college. I wasn't always one to curse, but the freedom of college I guess let my tongue out a bit.

But I couldn't help but notice moments in my life when I had to do a double take and wonder, "man...did I REALLY have to say it like that??"

Each breath we breathe has been ordained by God. Think about that. Every breath you are breathing at the very moment has been given to you as a blessing by God.
Why waste that precious breath in breathing insults, heaping lies, and spreading gossip about others?

As Paul writes to the Thessalonian church, we should use our words to encourage one another.

What do we encourage others with?

With the joy of knowing and savoring Christ as King! As Paul wrote of earlier in the same chapter, we should bless one another with the fact that our lives on earth are but a whisper of whats to come! That there is an eternity waiting for those who place their faith in Jesus Christ.

Bless each other with words that point to an awesome Savior and hope in an everlasting life.

And at the same time, also remember the old adage, "silence is golden."
Sometimes, not speaking, speaks volumes.

Some of us need to redeem our words, while some of us, needs to (in real talk) shut up.

We have to learn how to be silent at times and let God speak to us. We just need to listen.

He has a lot to say. So do you. But be like Mary, and dont just hear. Listen.

dont let it die

2011-10-15T20:23:00.000-07:00

ive been pretty consistent with writing out my devotionals from time to time, and i feel like im in need of a small 'break' in the flow...so my blog can breathe a little.

here's a thought thats been reoccuring lately.

how often do our devotionals, thoughts, journal entries just die in our journals?

how many times do i live out practically, the things i get insight from in my quiet times?

i think that i fall victim to just letting my devotionals exist in this blog, or journal, or wherever...and i very rarely seem to apply it vigorously in my life.

part of my excuse is that there's just simply too much information - how could i possibly remember all of this, let alone retain it?

and...i guess thats where prayer and the Holy Spirit's work crucially comes into play. i need to make it a habit to actively pray that God would help me be reminded of all that i write down, so that these things dont live in my blogs but that it would live in my actions.

sokin's devotional 21

2011-10-12T09:38:00.000-07:00

"As they were walking along the road, a man said to Him, 'I will follow you wherever you go.'
Jesus replied, 'Foxes have holes and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.'
He said to another man, 'Follow me.' But the man replied, 'Lord, first let me go and bury my father.'
Jesus said to Him, 'Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.'
Still another said, 'I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.'
Jesus replied, 'No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.'"
Luke 9:57-62

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God desires all of your life. Not just a part.

The cost of following the Lord is a difficult one and by no means, easy. But, it also leads to great reward.

The great reward of knowing Jesus more and fellowship with Him. The great reward awaiting our destiny in Heaven. The great reward of knowing Jesus not just in His blessings, but in His sufferance.

But how hypocritical I am to say this, but so often I do not see this dynamic being lived out in my life.
I wonder if these three men responded by forsaking their excuse and following Jesus.
Everyone wants the blessing, but no one wants to pay for it.

God, help me to live my life to the fullest, seeking your glory to the fullest, experiencing all of life to its fullest while honoring You.

sokin's devotional 20

2011-10-11T08:40:00.000-07:00

"...for the Lord searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts..."
1 Chronicles 28:9

"...we are not trying to please men, but God, who tests our hearts..."
1 Thessalonians 2:4

"...but Jesus, knowing their thoughts..."
Luke 9:47

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"God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words but with the attitude of your heart..." (4 spiritual laws)

God. knows. your. heart.

Every thought, hidden agenda, selfish ambition - God knows these things.

He sees past your Martha-like duties and works; he sees past your image, your reputation.

He sees through your facial expressions and looks deep into the fabric of your soul.

He sees every pain, hurt, guilt, suffering, shame, and disgrace that you have ever experienced.

Friends, let's try our best to remove our masks, remove all the clutter and just be real with him. Be raw.

There's no need to fake a smile with Jesus. There's no need to pretend like everything's okay, when its not. Stop trying to please men and especially, stop trying to trick God.

He knows your heart. Your thoughts. Your intentions.

Redeem them.

If you find it difficult to do so, ask the Holy Spirit. His work is to sanctify us, and reveal our sins to us. He helps us to be more like Jesus.

God wants nothing more than for you to honest with Him...even if it will hurt Him.

Father, I want to be real before you. You know my heart, my intentions. Holy Spirit, reveal my sin and help me to renew my thoughts and hearts so that my actions would be full of love and sincerity. Jesus, help me to become more like You.

sokin's devotional 19

2011-10-05T08:41:00.000-07:00

"I, Paul, write this greeting in my own hand. Remember my chains. Grace be with you."
Colossians 4:18

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"Remember my chains," Paul says. Not, "remember my good life," or "remember when I stumped the religious people."

Remember my hardships. Remember my imprisonment. Remember my suffering, Paul implores.

The life of a good person may be appealing, but the life of a person who comes out of hardship and perseveres is compelling.

I realize I need to not seek for the best and most comfortable outcome for my life, but I need to seek to live a life where in every situation, I can say, "God is good."

Let us also remember Christ, and His cross that He bore for us. We have a great high priest who went through it all, so that we can also wear our chains and bear witness.

sokin's devotional 18

2011-09-29T08:28:00.000-07:00

"Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone."
Colossians 4:5,6

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Every situation is a opportunity where the light of the Gospel can shine.

We interact with a lot of people on a daily basis - in school, with co-workers, on the line at the supermarket, on the bus, even interacting with the drivers of other cars around you.

All of these are opportunities where Christ can be revealed.

Unfortunately for us, non-believers will always look at the way Christians act and behave with more scrutiny. It's unfair to some extent, but I think it places us in a potentially opportune situation.

Are we rejoicing in all circumstances when things dont go our way? Are we worshiping God, like Paul and Silas in prison, when the situation would normally not call for such a response?

Are we living lives of gutsy faith and courage, like Joab and Abishai when they were surrounded by the Ammonites and Arameans?

Are we able to proclaim Christ in every circumstance or do we cower in fear of rejection?

Are we making the most of every opportunity?

sokin's devotional 17

2011-09-27T10:26:00.000-07:00

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved..."

Colossians 3:12

"David and all the Israelites were celebrating with all their might before God, with songs and with harps, lyres, and tambourines, cymbals and trumpets."

1 Chronicles 13:8

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We are God's chosen people.

Holy and dearly loved.

This verse starts out by saying something so mind-boggling and paradoxical. How, how and why could a just and holy God, love a sinner such as I?

Only by the blood of Jesus Christ, who bore God's wrath upon His shoulders so that we could be dearly loved and seen as holy in the eyes of God.

We have such a great testimony of God's grace and favor upon us yet we often live as if it was our right to receive this.

In the old testament, David and the Israelites are seen dancing, singing, rejoicing because the presence of God (the ark) was brought back to them.

In the new testament, we see that God does not reside in the tents or houses or temples..but rather in each of us by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. He is our guarantee, our "deposit guaranteeing our inheritance..." (ephesians 1:14)

It was never our right to receive anything from God. It was never our inheritance to receive God's presence in each of us. We deserved death. We received mercy.

Let's live like it.

sokin's devotional 16

2011-09-21T09:41:00.000-07:00

"Where is your faith?" he asked his disciples.
Luke 8:25

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A very well-known passage, yet always a timely one that demands attention every now and then.

Where is our faith, our savior asks us. Where is your faith in the midst of the storm?

Where is your faith, he asks his disciples. Was their faith in the person steering the ship? Was their faith in their abilities as fisherman? Was their faith in the sturdy wood that made up the ship?

Where is your faith, he asks us? Is your faith in your intellect? Is your faith in your secure job position? Is your faith in your seemingly stable life? Is your faith in your education?

Jesus asks this question so that we would place our faith in the one asking the question.

Our faith needs/must rest on Christ alone - the calmer of storms, the driver of our ship.

sokin's devotional 15

2011-09-20T08:38:00.000-07:00

"Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat - for He grants sleep to those he loves."

psalm 127:1-2

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All things must be dedicated onto the Lord - if not, all works towards it is in vain.

I've been consistently (so far) going up to Stonybrook every tuesday and wednesdays now for morning prayer, and typically, I would get back home at a very late hour. It's a physically grueling 2 days that I do ministry at Stonybrook and sometimes, I forget that even in my waking up early and sleeping late is not the reason why I should rejoice. Far be it from me, that I would take joy and feel content just because I can say at the end of the day, "I've done quite a lot today.."

If I do not actively remind myself to let God be the master architect of the Stonybrook ministry, all of my labor to seek out students and all my waking up early and sleeping late is vanity - it is nothing without His hands in it.

It doesn't take away the actions of the laborers - we must still labor. The watchmen must still watch. The builders must build. But the perspective behind these actions must be redeemed. They/we must know that our watching, our building is wholly contingent on the hands of God working in and through us.

ESV study bible said it best - "diligence is not greed or restless anxiety."

I would go one step further and say that faithful living is not greed or restless anxiety. God's people must learn to be able to sleep comfortably at night. Why? Because our God is in control.

It is this truth that allowed Christ to sleep in the ship while the waters roared outside.

It is this truth that allowed Peter to sleep in prison, even when facing impeding death.

Lord, be the builder of our lives. Help me realize that Christians should be the best sleepers at night. Because we serve a God who never sleeps nor slumbers.

sokin's devotional 14

2011-09-16T08:03:00.000-07:00

"'Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. one owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more? Simon replied, 'I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled.' 'You have judged correctly,' Jesus said. Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, 'Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven - for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little.'
....Jesus said to the woman, 'Your faith has saved you; go in peace."
Luke 7:41-48, 50

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I would argue that some people might read this passage and might instantly think, "i wonder if i am the man that owes 50 denarii, or the one that owes 500 denarii."

or maybe even, "If I were someone as sinful as a prostitute, I think I would react the same way if Jesus walked into the room."

But I think Jesus is pointing to something more profound here. Aside from the fact that even 50 denarii is a large sum of money, we are in fact not the man that owes 50 denarii, and maybe not even the man that owes 500 denarii. If we were to monetize our sin before God, we would probably owe a gajillion denarii. A googol denarri. An infinite denarii. We wont be able to count how fallen we are next to a Holy, Holy, Holy God.

We, in fact, have been forgiven much, but so few of us, really recognize it. Often times, our faith does not respond and react in the way this woman did at the feet of Jesus.

O believer. Realize how far from God you were and how much He still loved you, even when He had every right to hate you as His enemy. Jesus died so that he could pay the debt you could never afford. Let your faith respond to this love and come to the feet of Jesus and crown Him as your Lord and Savior.

It is this faith, that will ultimately save you and give you peace.

sokin's devotional 13

2011-09-03T08:17:00.000-07:00

"and we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please Him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to His glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light."
colossians 1:11-12

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what does it mean to live a life worthy of the Lord and how can we please Him?

- "bear fruit in every good work"
is your life marked by good fruit bearing? are you bearing good fruit or bad fruit? remember: a good tree can only bear good fruit. a bad tree can only bear bad fruit.

- "grow in the knowledge of God"
what new things/insights of God are you learning? are you drinking from the fountain of His truth everyday? the bible has existed for thousands of years and countless preachers, theologians have picked it apart yet the bible still remains as life giving, and life changing and inspiring with every read. have you dug deeper into these truths?

- "give thanks to the Father"
are you able to "rejoice in all circumstances?" have you thanked God recently? what did you thank Him for? how is your heart responding to Him?

questions....to consider. especially for myself.

sokin's devotional 12

2011-08-17T09:18:00.000-07:00

"but love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then, your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High because He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked."

luke 6:35

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ouch, ouch, and ouch. these commands are probably one of the more difficult commands Jesus gives and also the ones that are most often over-looked/ignored.

but why?

people are just so naturally "ME" oriented. We all want to secure our dignity, our fortune, our fame. We may ask God, (or more like whine), "just how can i show kindness to those that wrong me? How can i give, and not expect any return?" (or as people these days might say, "how can i lend something and not gain any interest off of it?")

we ask these questions but God answers by,

"demonstrating His own love toward us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ. died. for. us." romans 5:8

Yes, Lord. I see. While I myself was probably the biggest enemy you could have ever had, even in my sin, you died for me. Gave up yourself for me because you loved me that much.

And this, my friends, is why we can also love/forgive our enemies and not expect something back everytime.

It's hard, but in Christ (thank God) - it isnt impossible.

sokin's devotional 11

2011-08-15T10:08:00.000-07:00

"what is more, i consider everything a loss compared to knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake i have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that i may gain Christ..."

philippians 3:8

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this was my calling verse that i point people to when asked, "what is a bible passage that reflects your life and desire in life?"

But upon re-reading this passage today, my eyes fell upon the words of "lost all things."

I dont know why, but I used to gloss over this phrase. I fully understood what it said, what it meant, but for some reason, as I looked upon it today, it took to a whole new level of meaning.

Paul, lost ALL THINGS...considered things of the world garbage in view of Christ's glory.

This was his key of being able to find "joy in all circumstances"(phil 4:11)

It wasn't that he lost all earthly things and gained another "thing." But rather, he was able to say that even if he didn't have a single possession in his name - even if he were to endure tough trials and lose this health, wealth, and relationships - he would be content because he gained Christ.

we live in a very materialistic world. especially in America. the pursuit of things is ongoing and a constant battle for most people.

i want to live a life where my soulcry/heartcry would be that even if i were to lose everything, that i will still have everything in Christ.

Lord, teach me.

sokin's devotional 10

2011-08-11T09:03:00.000-07:00

"Trouble and distress have come upon me, but Your commands are my delight."

Psalm 119:143

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when the Lord calls on us to do something difficult, or something that we may think may cause more harm than good...do we respond in delight or anger?

bitterness?

confusion?

sadness?

perhaps so. But friends, remember that the calling of God is not always comfortable but it is always correct.

The commands of God, specifically the Word, is what brings life. It is what brings renewal and revelation. It brings freshness and strength for a new day. Although God's commands and His Word may pierce us to the bone and marrow...to the very root of our souls, and may cause pain and hurt - such is the nature of the Great Surgeon who must do a great work in us so that we would be fully cleansed and healed from ourselves.

God may be leading us the valleys but it may be in those very places where we are able to delight in and find true joy.

Being able to delight in the valleys will make our celebration on the mountaintops that much more joyful.

Jesus was the perfect example of this paradigm. Fully able to acknowledge the pain and suffering and fear He felt when called upon the great task at calvary, yet He was able to delight in His Father's plans.

sokin's devotional 9

2011-08-03T10:05:00.000-07:00

"But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed."

Luke 5:16

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The key word I focus on in this verse is the word, 'often.' How often do we like to pray before our God? How often do we seek Him?

As Jesus' ministry grew, surely, His schedule became more and more packed and hectic. People came in droves to see and hear His teaching and receive His healing touch. This probably was to a higher degree than the "healing ministries" we see here and there in our day. Jesus was really healing people. Dead people were coming alive. This, for sure, caused Jesus to be a well sought out teacher.

But, instead of limiting His time with His father, Jesus often went to pray. And not only that, He went to the lonely places to seek Him.

In a day and age where we are bombarded by so many different mediums of communication, it is progressively difficult to find a solitary place. Where we can really "be still and know that He is God."

Friends, let us seek the Lord all the more..let us often go to the lonely places to hear the Lord speak into our lives. To clear the clutter of our minds and to direct our next steps.

Jesus knew the importance of this practice and lived it out. Let us do the same.

sokin's devotional 8

2011-08-02T08:19:00.000-07:00

"...so he went down and dipped himself in the Jordan seven times, as the man of God had told him, and his flesh was restored and became clean like that of a young boy."

2 kings 5:14

"...put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch. Simon answered, 'Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.' When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break...when Simon Peter say this, he fell at Jesus' knees and said, 'Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!'."

Luke 5:4-8

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God often works in the unexpected realms. He doesn't move how we want, nor does he operate in the way that we often expect.

So often, we may try to predict how God will work in our lives -

how He will provide finances...

how He will bring healing upon the afflicted...

how He will respond to our prayers...

But I think more often, while we may understand and know God's will more as we get to know Him, I think the Word points us to the fact that our needs aren't always met in the way we expect them to.

Naaman at first rejected Elisha's direction to wash himself in the Jordan seven times. He even surmised that the rivers he was used to seeing back at home were probably far better to bathe in. (1 Kings 5:12)

But upon surrendering, he finally dipped himself in the Jordan and was healed of his leprosy. This caused him to worship the true and living God.

Similarly, Jesus tells the disciples to let down their nets at the most inopportune time of the day. Even Simon Peter says (a bit sarcastically and reluctantly I imagine), "right Jesus... being that we have been lifelong fisherman and we ONLY worked all night already and caught nothing... but because YOU say so...I will let down the nets..." (my translation).

and what happens?

They catch so much fish that they bring over another boat. And even still, there's so much fish that both boats start sinking.

Friends, our prayers and desires may not always be answered in the way we want or even like. But at the end of the day, we must always come to the realization that His leadership is absolutely, positively perfect and full of love.

We can only surrender, obey, and trust in this truth. So that even while we may end up washing ourselves in a river when we know of better ones, or when we are asked to cast out our nets in the worst time of day...God will allow his sometimes unexpected solutions to unravel itself in our lives.

sokin's devotional 7

2011-07-16T08:28:00.001-07:00

"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path"

psalm 119:105

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God's word illuminates the path of our entire lives. There is no point in our lives where God's Word will not prevail and show insight. We will always need His word to direct us.

A path without light is a scary road - there may be bumps, turns, and obstacles in the way. Without light, walking in the darkness can become a very difficult and even painful task.

But the word is a lamp to our feet. The light to our path. With it, we can navigate the twists and turns of life. While this won't rid our path of the obstacles, we will be prepared for them and can walk confidently in step with Him.

The Word is always beneficial, profitable. It will never get too old - it will never be fully researched with every nugget of truth extracted from it. There is a reason why the bible, though its been around for hundreds of years, can always bear fresh content.

It is the very breath of God. Feast upon the Word - delight in its truths and allow it to illuminate the path before you.

sokin's devotional 6

2011-07-15T07:22:00.000-07:00

ephesians 6:18 - "and pray in the Spirit on all occasions, with all kinds of prayers and requests..."

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We have the freedom to come to God with any and every request. He is our loving Father, and He draws near to listen to our voices. Simply talking with Him brings Him delight.

BUT, we must pray, in the Spirit.

I take this to mean that while we are able to bring any request to God, praying in the Spirit is like a pre-requisite to praying effective prayers.

Being in the Spirit implies that I acknowledge His presence, am surrendered to Him, and I desire to be directed by Him (Him, being the Holy Spirit - He is a person!)

Thus, being in the Spirit, allows us to come to God with true freedom, to bring every request to Him. Our prayers will be rid of useless, and trivial pursuits and we will begin to pray with the mind of God, for the glory of God. We will pray like Christ, as honest as He was when he asked to "let the cup be taken from Him," .. but not as 'He' would but as 'God' would. "Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done.."

I loved Pastor Kim's example during Korea Conference this past summer.

He said something along the lines of:

"You must ask the right questions. Don't ask stupid questions. Dont ask things like, "God, why wont this girl like me..?" If you pray in such a way, it is then that you will experience the famous 'silence of God'..."

Be filled with Spirit when you pray and you wont ask torturous questions that will never be answered. :)

sokin's devotional 5

2011-07-14T05:03:00.000-07:00

"so Elisha left him and went back. He took his yoke of oxen and slaughtered them. He burned the plowing equipment to cook the meat and gave it to the people, and they ate. Then he set out to follow Elijah and became his attendant."

1 Kings 19:19-21

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The calling of Elisha prompts Elisha to literally drop everything, surrender his life, and follow Elijah.

Literally.

The "kiss" symbolizes his allegiance not to his parents no longer, but to God and the calling he has received.

He takes his oxen, kills them, and uses the very equipment he was using to cook it. Elisha literally gave up his livelihood - the very means of surviving. He let everything go in light of God's effecting calling on his life.

How willing am I to surrender everything in this manner? To drop everything, to let go of my livelihood and family and everything closest to me - how willing and enthusiastic am I to do such a thing like Elisha?

sokin's devotional 4

2011-07-12T05:47:00.000-07:00

(adapted from ESV study bible notes)

"Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit in the desert, where for forty days he was tempted by the devil. He ate nothing during those days, and at the end of them He was hungry."

Luke 4:1,2

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It's interested to note that it wasn't satan that came to Jesus, but rather, being filled with the Holy Spirit - Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert.

Sometimes, when we are at our most spiritually strongest, is when temptation may come and seize us. We must not be naive and think spiritual strength comes at no cost or testing. All stretching and growth can be painful and difficult, but we must endure it to be able to expand our capacities.

Important to note here is also that Jesus uses Scripture to fight against the temptations of satan. We have to remember that the Word is the sword of the Spirit (ephesians 6:17).

Our battles are made victorious only in the power of God. Read His Word and allow it to protect you against temptation.

sokin's devotional 3

2011-07-11T04:53:00.001-07:00

"for you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light...Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them..."

Ephesians 5:8, 11)

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Repentance never ends. Reveal every hidden sin so that what was in the darkness can be exposed by His marvelous light.

Share your sins with those that you can entrust and that can speak truth into your life. Things in darkness are seemingly hidden, but God sees all things. And it is futile to continue to have them be shrouded. Instead, let God's merciful light shine upon these areas of our lives so that "we can live as wise, not as unwise" (v. 15).

For "no immoral, impure or greedy person - has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God." (v. 5)

The Gospel tells us that we are set free from the bondage of sin - we have found victory in the victorious cross of Christ. Yet our battle and fight against sin never just dissipates easily. We must continue to live this life of honest repentance and faith.

sokin's devotional 2

2011-07-10T03:07:00.000-07:00

"produce fruit in keeping with repentance...the ax is at the root of the trees and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire..."

luke 3:8,9

"when king jeroboam heard what the man of God cried out against the altar at Bethel, he stretched out his hand from the altar and said, "seize him!" But the hand he stretched out towards the man shriveled up, so that he could not pull it back...the king said to the man of God, "come home with me and have something to eat, and i will give you a gift..."

1 kings 13:4-7

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we are called to bear the fruit, the marks of repentance. but it is important to note that God always desires the heart first, not the actions.

actions will always follow after a heart change/transformation/repentance. it does not work the other way around.

it first begins with our repentance - acknowledging with God that our ways around wrong and that our hearts are inherently corrupt. we surrender to this verdict. once this happens, the Holy Spirit will convict us and move us into action. our actions must/will follow after a heart change.

king jeroboam had it all wrong - he tried to use religion to find favor in the eyes of God. he tried to "buy" back favor with the prophet and thereby bypass God's judgment on his reign.

jeroboam tried to go straight to the fruit of repentance without experiencing repentance in himself first.

friends, we must not try to use our religion to gain favor in the eyes of God. nor can we expect to see changes in our lifestyle just from doing Christianity.

we must first experience the stinging conviction of our sin. we have to seek repentance at the foot of the Cross. we must see that upon Christ, our judgement was upon Him. THIS should move us into action.

sokin's devotional 1

2011-07-09T05:44:00.000-07:00

ephesians 4:22-24

"you were taught with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness."

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It is NOT biblical to say, "I'm a sinner, so its okay that I'm like this."

No, my friends, our fight needs to be a fight for holiness. We are called to put off our old selves which is deceitful, corrupted and longs for sin and flesh - and to put on the new self, which was bought at Christ's expense and blood and made possible by the Holy Spirit.

This new self was created to be like God. Be like God. Let that phrase marinate a little.

We are to strive after holiness that resembles God. Our old selves can't do that. Not even close. But by the transformative power of the Holy Spirit, we can. We wont BE God. But we can be LIKE Him in holiness and righteousness because of Christ.

Do not delay in this pursuit! (psalms 119:60) Rather, hasten. There is no reward for procrastination.

miracles.

2011-05-22T20:48:00.000-07:00

i usually dont post the same content on my tumblr AND my blogspot...but i felt compelled to share this quote on both the interwebs. (< is that a word?)

“we modern people think of miracles as the suspension of the natural order, but Jesus meant them to be the restoration of the natural order. the bible tells us that God did not originally make the world to have disease, hunger, and death in it. Jesus has come to redeem where it is wrong and heal the world where it is broken. His miracles are not just proofs that He has power but also wonderful foretastes of what He is going to do with that power. Jesus’s miracles are not just a challenge to our minds, but a promise to our hearts, that the world we all want is coming.”

tim keller - "the reason for God"

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i love how keller points us to the right posture we need to have with healing and miracles in general. miracles, powerful acts of God should never be the ends. it shouldnt terminate there with the act. we dont praise the miracle. we praise Jesus. it points us to Him and to the world that is to come.

girlfriend/boyfriend!?

2011-03-05T22:34:00.000-08:00

because of whatever reason (or God's sense of humor), people have been coming up to me for relationship advice.

why? i dunno. but i digress.

here's essentially the advice/thoughts/opinions i have regarding this very serious and muy importante issue for most people. now, i must add that i am by no means a relationship expert, nor do i ever plan on being one. i just go by my experiences and what i can discern from where im at now. (not an exhaustive list)

1. be careful and discern your emotions.
if i had a dollar for every action i made based on my emotions in which i later regretted, i would probably be a gajillionaire. be very very wise and careful of your emotional feelings. even to begin with, our emotions are so fickle and prone to change. we dont want to be guided by our feelings but be guided by God's discernment and His Spirit. be ultra wary of your emotions. dont just go off of them. process them.

2. talk to people about this.
not just one person. not just the person that you know will give you the answer you want to hear. talk to a counselor. someone you look up to. a pastor. a staff. anyone that could put your feelings and situation against an objective white wall and give you insight that you are probably too clouded to see for yourself.

3. patience is tough, but most times necessary.
sometimes, God is telling us to wait. usually because youre not ready. she's not ready. youre both not ready. your wallet is not ready. whatever.
im also not saying that you have to wait till you have a burning bush experience or a dreamlike revelation from God telling you in a loud, billowing voice, "GO FOR IT CHAMP."
but in a day and age where everything is so instant, and NOW NOW NOW, learn to exercise patience and wait for the appropriate time to exercise your faith in pursuing after someone.

4. remember faith? yeah that thing. exercise it.
God has a wonderful plan for your life. He does. regardless of the fact that some of it will be in hardship, some of it will also be in His gracious goodness. He has someone out there for you. if not the person you like now, whoever you end up with, if you did it with God's leading, you will for sure love that person to itty bitty bits and noone else will matter at that point. not even that girl/guy that you are crushing on so hardcore right now. yep. its true! trust in Him. His leadership in your life is absolutely perfect.

5. how's your relationship with Him these days?
it must always go back to this conviction. yes, you can glorify God through your relationship. yes, God probably did not call you to a life of celibacy. but there's a reason why Paul chose to be celibate. he understood that there was no greater joy, and love that he could experience in this life, other than the love of His Savior.
you say you really like this person. how much do you like your Savior?

6. this is NOT the most important issue in your life...probably. Jesus is coming!
i made a passing joke/remark at gethsemane prayer meeting where i basically said that if Jesus were to return tomorrow, most poeple would automatically feel jipped and saddened because they could not experience marriage. but i am reminded that the Word tells us that God is love. God is joy. being with Him means experiencing perfect love, perfect joy forever and ever and ever and ever!......etc etc. (but i must honestly confess, i am part of the number that would feel jipped a little...heh. but we must not believe this to be true!)

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as for me?

i had an epiphany in the shower today(where i feel most epiphanies originate from)
there's farrrrr more importance and significance God wants me to place in any future relationships in my life. i am by no means "ready" for one, but i wonder, will i ever be?

but nonetheless, i would like to be more "ready".

for me, i put it to 4-fold gut check.

how is my:
1. spiritual stewardship (do i love the Lord first and foremost?)
2. other relationship stewardship (do my friends and family feel loved by me?)
3. financial stewardship (do i lovingly embrace all that God has allocated to me and am i being a wise spender?)
4. physical stewardship (do i love and care for my body?)

okay i wrote way too much but again, this isnt an exhaustive list of things. just on my mind.
hope it helps!

i pray that we will all understand and know the love of the Lord first and foremost - so that we would love our significant others with the same type of love.

1 john 4:19 - we love because He first loved us.

channel of blessing

2011-02-28T22:02:00.000-08:00

³⁷ On the last and greatest day of the festival, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. ³⁸ Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.”
john 7:37-38

in order for you to flow and pour insight and wisdom into someone else's life, you must first make sure that God Himself is pouring life into you.

this is what it means to be a "channel of blessing."

in laymen's terms of KCCC people - if you want to be a soonjang that pours good insight into the lives of your soonwon, you MUST make sure you are being fed as well from God.
how is your prayer life? how is your devotional life?

dont feed your soonwons dry, stale water. feed them water which flows from the spring of living water through you.

God is NOT like us.

2011-02-16T08:44:00.000-08:00

i will not execute my burning anger; i will not again destroy Ephraim; for I am God and not a man, the Holy One in your midst, and i will not come in wrath - Hosea 11:9

God is not a man, that He should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change His mind. Does He speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? - Numbers 23:19

sometimes, i fall into the error of forgetting that God is not like humans. He isn't punitive. He isn't bitter. He isn't petty. He's completely, whole-heartedly, content with Himself for He is the spring of life and joy.

God is God and i am but a man. but i am loved by a God such as Him.

this. is. significant.

dreams

2011-02-01T08:24:00.000-08:00

something to consider and revisit:

what are dreams? what does the bible say about dreams? how should we/can we interpret them?

ive had some gnarly dreams in my lifetime, and i sometimes wonder, how much of it is God-inspired? or are they all? etc etc.

"In a dream, in a vision of the night,

when deep sleep falls on men,

while they slumber on their beds,"

job 33:15

will def. revisit this sometime soon. if anyone has any good books, references on this topic, shoot them over!

the same pursuit of JOY

2011-01-27T08:50:00.001-08:00

reflections from chapter 1 of "Desiring God":

God is the source and the author of JOY/HAPPINESS.

let that sink in.

God IS joy. eternal, everlasting, all-encompassing joy. He is greater than the joy you felt as a kid opening presents on Christmas day. He is greater than the joy a mother/father feels when they see their newborn child. He is greater than the joy two lovers feel when they are married.

and He is the author of that joy.

therefore, what is the greatest, most loving act God can do for us?

give us HIMSELF!

by giving Himself to us to enjoy, He is in effect, allowing us the pleasure and opportunity to experience the most purest and highest form of that JOY which we usually experience in glimpses and mere shades in this life.

and this joy is magnified and realized even more fully in the act of praising Him. expressing praise over something/someone makes our delight complete. just like a parent swooning over their child makes their joy in that child more complete.

piper writes, "we praise what we enjoy because the delight is incomplete until it is expressed in praise...so if God loves us enough to make our joy full, He must not only give us Himself; He must also win from us the praise of our hearts - not because He needs to shore up some weakness in Himself or compensate for some deficiency, but because He loves us and seeks the fullness of our joy that can be found only in knowing and praising Him, the most magnificent of all Beings...God is the one Being in all the universe for whom seeking His own praise is the ultimately loving act."

"therefore, God's pursuit of praise from us and our pursuit of pleasure in Him are the same pursuit. This is the great gospel!"

dear friends, praise Him today! and learn to experience the fullness of joy that is found in Him this day.

desiring God

2011-01-15T22:40:00.001-08:00

a snippet from desiring God by john piper (FINALLY, reading it)

"Christian hedonism is a philosophy of life built on the following five convictions:

1. the longing to be happy is a universal human experience, and it is good, not sinful.

2. we should never try to deny or resist our longing to be happy, as though it were a bad impulse. instead, we should seek to intensify this longing and nourish it with whatever will provide the deepest and most enduring satisfaction.

3. the deepest and most enduring happiness is found only in God. not from God, but in God.

4. the happiness we find in God reaches its consummation when it is shared with others in the manifold ways of love.

5. to the extent that we try to abandon the pursuit of our own pleasure, we fail to honor God and love people. or, to put it positively: the pursuit of pleasure is a necessary part of all worship and virtue. that is:

the chief end of man is to glorify God by enjoying Him forever."

my struggle that im faced with in this new year is this very idea of enjoying Him forever. i can say it with my lips, but does my heart say that? no. honestly right now, it doesnt.

i long for other things. things that arent bad in and of itself, but my joy needs/MUST be found in Him first.

Oh Lord, that you would not just teach me, but show me - speak to me in ways intangible but true, - that you are indeed the source of all joy and happiness. may i desire you first beyond anything else. God, this is my confession, but im so weak, prone to wander, lusting after the things of this world and the things i want - guide me back into seeing that you are THAT much more sweeter and worth it. Amen.

....hear that?

2011-01-11T08:50:00.000-08:00

after being convicted of taking a day of silence from pastor peter ahn from vision conference 2011, i decided to finally take one yesterday.

taking cues and advice from mark driscoll's posts on solitude and silence -http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/justintaylor/2009/11/30/organizing-a-day-of-silence-and-solitude-with-god/?comments#comments

listening to some advice, i decided to head to the beach.

from my journey that day i realized a couple of things:

1. my life is too cluttered with noise - i thought i could be able to take the day off but i realized how much of my life is spent with THINGS going on in the background. not having a phone to check, or people to talk to really made the day go considerably slower, but at the same time, it was refreshing.

2. silence can be deafening - having little to no audible inputs being poured in, i realized how loud silence can become.

3. i MUST NOT be mastered by technoology - i realized how much, and incresainly so over the years, my life revolves around technology - namely, the computer. just today, the iphone 4 came out to verizon and people are going gaga crazy over it. not saying that technology is a bad thing - i fully believe and testify that we have freedom to enjoy technology and God's redemptive purpsoes of it (ie-pastors on twitter, blogs, etc) for the glory of God and the joy of his people. seeing the fuss over the iphone coming to verizon, i wondered, "in what areas of my life do i value created things over the Creator?"

4. this is worth doing once a month - i think purposely taking a day to just sit in silence and meditate is a good thing. i may change it up next time around - taking a day in complete silence - or maybe doing a prayer hike/walk. nonetheless, it is extrmemely worth it and i enocurage anyone out there to try it for themselves.

God gave me a BEAUTIFUL, SO SPECTACULAR sunset at the end. i got to even see the whole thing go down. it was great. me and God. Him and me.

"the LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks Him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD. it is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young. let him sit alone in silence, for the LORD has laid it on him."

lamentation 3:24-28

"be still, and know that i am God; i will be exalted among the nations, i will be exalted in the earth."

psalm 46:10

hey you, reader, try it!

making sense.

2010-12-11T22:30:00.000-08:00

from time to time, i think about heaven and what it will be like.

one of the most common thoughts that come to mind is, when i see God, will i have a ton of questions to ask Him?

and i the more i think about it, the more i find myself realizing that when i do actually see Him face to face, it will all make sense. all the pain, all the confusion, everything ive ever experienced in my life will seem so well thought out by Him.

goodness gracious, i coulda sworn i said this thought already.. but i guess, im at a place in my life where nothing seems to make sense anymore.

but He knows what He's doing. and i'll have to rely on that until the day i see Him for myself.

thanks, God

2010-11-25T22:15:00.001-08:00

today i...

- was encouraged by 2 of my sw's. both sent a very loving/thoughtful message that was quite unexpected.

- heard from a student i met in thailand about how she is growing in the Lord and getting excited for this year's Christmas because it's so much more significant for her in light of her knowledge of Jesus.

- emailed with a brother in Christ i met in nepal, back in 2005. we still keep in touch to this day.

- realized how thankful i was while driving to and from our annual family thanksgiving dinner. the car was full of all 5 of us (sisters, mom and dad, and moi). we dont get to do that often but it took on a more special meaning for me this time around.

1 thessalonians 5:16-18 pops up again in my life.

rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

it was a good thanksgiving.

thanks, God.

how deep the Father's love for us

2010-11-09T09:18:00.000-08:00

while stopping by columbia to pick up something, in a series of events, i ended up praying for a man with liver cancer.

he was no more than 50 years old, but his hunched frame and physical weakness made him seem much older.

he said he had no family. his mother was in the nursing home. his father died of the same cancer.

on my drive down to nyu, i couldnt help but ask God the age-old question, "why?"

i didnt receive an answer...but one thing i do know.

no. no...NO. you DO NOT, i DO NOT, understand how deep the Father's love for us. we will never understand. i will never understand. but it's there. it's there.

facedown

2010-11-04T08:57:00.000-07:00

i think this morning, God taught me something very significant.

that is, the very act of something done in the physical realm, can have an effect on the spiritual. and of course vice versa.

this morning, i was kneeling down in prayer as i usually do, but prayer wasnt working out that well. my soul felt frustrated...it was hard to pray.

but for some reason, i felt compelled to lay prostrate, literally facedown to the ground...and the floodgates opened. uncontrollable sobbing. my spirit was doing the praying, i was just lying there, being wrecked by Him.

i think the dictionary definition of the word "prostrate" does a good job at describing the emotion:

prostrate - lying face down, as in submission or adoration.

both is necessary when we commune with our Father.

"when all the people saw this, they fell prostrate and cried, "the LORD- He is God! The LORD- He is God!"

1 Kings 18:39

i think in many ways, when we encounter God, on that glorious day of our resurrection...meeting Him face to face, i dont think i'll be able to even stand before Him.

i think, as did most people that encountered the Lord in the bible did, we will all lay prostrate before Him, weeping uncontrollably not out of sadness - but because of uncontrollable joy.

deception and revelation

2010-10-27T21:38:00.000-07:00

deception

⁹ The heart is deceitful above all things

and beyond cure.
Who can understand it?

¹⁰ "I the LORD search the heart
and examine the mind,
to reward a man according to his conduct,
according to what his deeds deserve."

jeremiah 17:9,10

revelation

¹³But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.

john 16:13

----------------

thank you Holy Spirit, because you are real and alive, and not an ENTITY or VAPOR.

thank you because you reveal truth, and will not lie to us.

please replace my heart of deception, and fill it with your truth.

patience

2010-10-06T06:47:00.000-07:00

"wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage;

wait for the Lord!"

psalm 27:14

"teach us, O Lord, the disciplines of patience, for to wait is often harder than to work."

Peter Marshall

desire. heart. love.

2010-09-30T00:15:00.000-07:00

havent written in this thang in foreverrrr.

brief late night thought:

these days, ive been wrestiling with my heart, desire, love for God.

intellectually, i know God is so much more satisfying, so much more desirable than anything else in this world.

but living that truth out in my life has been difficult.

i think it boils down to a heart issue. what is it that i desire most in life? what fuels my love?

i want so much, so much, to have Jesus be my everything. that He may be all satisfying, and all sufficient for me. this, i know, He can be.

i think cs lewis said it best:

"Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."

26 - the longing for home

2010-05-08T09:01:00.000-07:00

17 Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us. 18 For many, of whom I have often told you and now tell you even with tears, walk as enemies of the cross of Christ. 19 Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things. 20 But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, 21 who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.
phil 3:17

"We are all strangers in a strange land, longing for home, but not quite knowing what or where home is. We glimpse it sometimes in our dreams, or as we turn a corner, and suddenly there is a strange, sweet familiarity that vanishes almost as soon as it comes… "
madeleine l'engle

i always get this feeling in the pit of my stomach, the "gut" one would say, that longs for that feeling of "home".

ive been feeling uneasy these days, and especially in this house which we just sold, i realized that i never really felt quite at home in this place.

a part of me thinks of my first home in bayside, growing up as a youngster.

but is home just a place where our memories exist? is it just a place where we can recall certain events and think to ourselves, "that was a good time"?

in some ways, i think this longing for home is much more deeper than that.

as Paul writes, our citizenship is in heaven. we are really just foreigners in a strange land. if that is true, then this feeling my gut will never really go away no matter how many times i move or even if i manage to move back into my old home.

sure, that familiarity will exist of a moment, but deep down inside, my soul knows, "you are not home".

how i await that day when i do return home. how wonderful and at peace my soul will feel. it would probably say,

finally.

25 - every story whispers His name

2010-03-20T10:24:00.000-07:00

what children's book has Tim Keller saying, "I would urge not just families with young children to get this book, but every Christian"

and also mark driscoll recommending it on his Resurgence list?

The Jesus Storybook Bible!

when i first heard driscoll talking about this book, i was pretty interested but never got around to looking at it cause..heck..im 23 years old.

but opportunity presented itself when i decided to buy it for a friend that is having a baby soon.
and i was flipping through the pages and i must say..

this is a pretty good book.

its cool cause it says it right there in the title and subtitle. the JESUS storybook bible. every story whispers HIS name.

if there is one thing im learning more and more of in my spiritual walk, its this - it's ALL about JESUS. everything should and does point to Him.

this isnt some cheesy stuff either. they dont try to pull any punches with the heavy topics like why Jesus had to die, and the suffering/anguish he went through at the garden of gethsemane and calvary.

just by my glancing though it and i actually want to finish the book before i give it to the friend..haha

and wouldnt you know it. i bought 2 more to give to other people.

bravo sally lloyd-jones! kudos to you.

24 - too good to pass up.

2010-03-02T07:39:00.000-08:00

isaiah 43:19 - See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

i started my media fast about a week ago, realizing there is MUCH to pray for, much to seek the Lord for. i put down 3 arbitrary bible verses that spoke to me that i found right before i made a blog post about my desire to abstain from media and pray. little did i know, the second one seems to be my confirmation to join in on this fast and pray for revival in our college campuses! i wanted to share this with everyone.

2 chronicles 7:14, 15 - if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land. Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place.

the following 2 blog posts from jaeson ma and lou engle gave me goosebumps as i read it.

from jaesonma.com

Today I will be joining leaders and students across American for this 40 day University Daniel Fast. I received this confirmation to join this fast one week ago through a prophetic dream about Korean youth and student revival birthing around the world for a great spiritual awakening…

One week ago I awoke with a vivid dream. In the dream I found myself at a Sunday service of the largest church in the world “Yoido Full Gospel Church of Korea” a church that at one time had 1 million members. The service was held in an auditorium that looked like a indoor Roman coliseum, inlaid with gold, marble and the whole place was shining bright with light. The entire place was packed with worshippers level to level, but as I looked closer they were all older in age, many older parents and grand parents. Then I looked down to the podium and the Senior Pastor “Dr. David Yongi Cho” was leading the service and there were many elders of the church with white hair around him on the ground floor of the coliseum. Following 1 Corinthians 14 “let them all prophesy one by one” different church members were standing up to give prophecies, when they were about to finish Dr. Cho said, “Is there anyone else that has a prophecy for the congregation?” That is when I felt the Spirit tell me, “You must prophesy about the next great Korean youth revival!” So I sheepishly raised my hand behind my head not knowing if what I heard was from God, trusting if it was God the pastor would call me forward…

Dr. Cho then points to me and says, “You young man, come up here and prophesy!” So I got on the podium stage and began to pray, “I now want to pray for the youth revival of Korea around the world!” Then the entire coliseum erupted with praise and prayer with excitement and faith! I began to prophesy under the anointing, “The Lord would say, that youth revival in Korea is beginning to rumble and the stronghold of the Devil are beginning to tumble, get ready for a great revival has come and the youth of Korea will be sent out to transform not only Seoul, not only Korea, but all over the world and to all nations! A great Korean youth army is now being sent out to government, business, education, media, arts, family and the religion mountains to disciple all nations, a global student awakening is being birthed and RIGHT NOW the DOOR is opened for the great revival the world has seen in Jesus name!”

Right then, my strength left me and I fell to the ground. Then Dr. Cho literally walked passed me and opened the “GATE or the DOORS” of the church and walked outside and declared the new student mission movement has begun from Korea to all nations!

Afterwards, I was taken back to my seat where all our student leaders from Hong Kong student revival in 2004 were sitting around me to encourage me. I knew they were a part of the revival also to connect Korea and China to bring the Gospel from Asia back to Jerusalem.

When I awoke from this dream I knew it was prophetic and from the Lord. I had totally forgot that at noon I was having lunch with President of Korean Campus Crusade for Christ. I knew the meeting would be divine. When we met a lunch I shared the dream, the vision and what I believe God would do in awakening Asian students across America and Asia to birth a new student mission movement around the world. He told me, “Before Bill Bright died he had a clear vision of student revival sweeping across America once again, but he saw that the tops of their heads were black and he knew it would be threw Asian students praying with the fervency of the Korean prayer anointing that would birth another, if not final great awakening around the world for the last great harvest!”

I knew in my heart, the Spirit was telling me that although right now I am focusing on reaching those in arts and entertainment, everything is interconnected. The artists and cultural icons of our day have the most influence on youth culture, in turn as media is transformed it will influence the youth, the students, and as students begin to pray and ask God for spiritual awakening in their generation I believe we will see the greatest and most powerful spiritual awakening mankind has seen since the days of Acts. Another student volunteer mission movement is ensuing and specifically, those of you who are Asian on university campuses I am calling you to join on the below 40 day fast starting today to pray that God uses your prayers and the anointing of the Asian church that prays from around the world to birth a new revival and mission movement to finish the Great Commission!

from thecall.com (lou engle)

There are moments in history when a door for massive change opens. Great revolutions for good or for evil occur in the vacuum created by these openings. It is in these times that key men and women, and even entire generations, risk everything to become the hinge of history—the pivotal point that determines which way the door will swing. We believe that America is in such a moment of history.

With this faith in our hearts, we are calling all of those whose hearts are stirred in colleges and universities across America to engage March 1st through April 9th in a 40-day Daniel fast (no meats, no sweets and limited intake) March 1st through April 9th releasing one great cry, one dominating prayer, “Lord of the harvest thrust forth laborers into the harvest field. Give us a third great awakening in the universities of America!”

40 years ago a great spiritual rebellion and revolution took place on the campuses of America and now we are reaping the fruit of that 40-year rebellion. But, 40 years are up and we are believing that a new generation will arise with the flaming tongue of the gospel and launch a spiritual revolution that could shake humanism and false ideologies through a mass harvest of souls coming to Christ. Shall we not dare to believe that giants were meant to fall and that God is greater than the boasting spiritual powers that dominate our universities today? Let us go up and possess the land for the sake of Christ.

-------

God is doing something big. look around you. look at the world's circumstances, your life circumstances, everything - to me, it is so clear.

23 - romans 8

2010-02-07T22:12:00.001-08:00

Lord, please Lord, just BURN romans 8 into my heart - i need it.

-----------------

²because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death

⁵Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.⁶The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; ⁷the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. ⁸Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.

¹³For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die;

²³Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. ²⁴For in this hope we were saved.

²⁸And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose

³¹What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?

⁸For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

-----------

Word of God speak into my life, burn into my heart, drown my soul.

22 - confession on haiti.

2010-01-20T21:29:00.000-08:00

im so frustrated that my soul is not stirred with affection and pain like i think it should. why is my heart so cold? i feel like haiti should SHAKE ME to the core of my being, yet...even as i look at pictures of dead babies and read of the suffering and heartache that is going on there - my heart feels so content, so safe in my home.

i am frustrated that my little problems make my heart far more wearier than the pain that is going on in haiti. and im not saying that we all need to weep and always show physical signs of pain over haiti or for any other disasters going on in the world..

but you know what...a part of me says we all should.

but why cant i?

Lord, give me a heart of compassion. just as you weep over the loss and despair of the haitian people, and the injustice in the rest of the world, may i receive but a bit of that same heart that will shake my inner being.

21 - human nature

2009-12-09T11:02:00.000-08:00

lamentations 3:40-42

"let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord. let us lift up our hearts and our hands to God in heaven, and say: we have sinned and rebelled and You have not forgiven."

3:39

"why should any living man complain when punished for his sins?"

humans do many ridiculous things. one of them, i realized, is that we always tend to eat our words. meaning, we make many mistakes, even when someone or something warns us in advance not to do it - and usually, they are always right in the end. and we may complain and moan about the circumstances after the consequences come about, and we always seek solace and forgivenss at the end, even when its too late.

real life example: whenever my mom tells me to do something, or not to do something, i always think that my way is better. she always tells me to wear a thicker jacket before i go out, but i always think that she's wrong and that it wont be too cold. almost 110% of the time, she is right, and i have to eat my words and bear the cold. i dont let her know that she was right, but i definitely have to live out the conesequences of my actions and my inability to heed her warning.

extreme example: in lamentations, the israelites were experiencing the wrath of God in their lives. the sins of their forefathers and them were being lived out. people were oppressed by their enemies, and God was giving them no freedom. God let their enemies have free reign over them.

and we see how the israelites cry out to God, even sometimes crying "foul!". but this was a direct response to their inability to repent of their ways and acknowledge God.

in some ways, i read this and i totally dont feel bad for them. they deserve it! but i look at my own life and realize how many times i have cried "foul!" and became bitter.

the right response is to do what the speaker in lamentations did and repent and acknowledge that hope is found in the Lord. and his mercies are new every morning (3:23). here, we see that even in the midst of utter destruction, the Lord is merciful and loving in his wrath - every hardship eventually leads us to repentence and back to God. just as a child finds comfort in the arms of a mother when she has scolded them for doing something bad, we too, find comfort in the loving arms of out Father in the midst of our hardship. hardship and trails almost always brings us back to God, or at least an acknowledgment of Him.

and ultimate mercy is found at the cross of Jesus. the old testament vicious cycle we always read of blessing > sin > repentence > blessing > sin by the israelites was finally broken through the wrath poured out upon Jesus for our wrongdoing. no longer did God have to pour out his anger of sin upon His people - He laid it all upon Jesus.

Jesus died for our human nature.

20 - hello self. this is a note to you.

2009-12-06T18:22:00.000-08:00

note to self: 10/6/09

1. buy christmas gifts for fam and friends(?)

2. PUT IN NEW GUITAR STRINGSSSS

3. get some bass strings

4. finish reading 'death by love'...

5. sign up for mma classes! (five points, fighthouse?)

6. write next newsletter!

7. read jack london

8. video blogging?

19 - the weeping prophet

2009-11-24T09:33:00.000-08:00

i finally(!) finished the book of jeremiah. and throughout it, i can see why people called him the, "weeping prophet".

this guy was so faithful to the words of God and faithfully spoke them. but he lived in a time of chaos and tumultuous wartime, and so physically, mentally, and spiritually, he mustve been drained.

he spoke about repentance again and again to the jews and the kings, but again and again, they rejected his words and merely used him as a way to divert the wrath of God by keeping him with them wherever they went. theres even one crazy scene where the king listened to each line of the words of jeremiah, and the king would cut off the scroll and place it in the fire, one by one. other false prophets came during jeremiah's time and delivered a message of peace and prosperity, but they were quickly struck down by God. jeremiah, continued to preach repentence and a call from God to return to Him. and ultimately, jeremiah's message was one of love - he loved his people and longed to see them return to Him so he gave these prophecies of repentance. this is what was needed at the time.

but noone really listened. no one really cared except the jeremiah's only disciples, baruch and seraiah.

one would imagine, had they been in jeremiah's shoes, if they would just give up and run away or something. but not jeremiah. he continued to preach faithfully and gave piercing, convicting words to the people in the one of the most hardest times for the jewish people.

it may not be a glamorous life jeremiah's lived but it was one of integrity and grit and perseverance that really captivates me. although jeremiah didnt live a pleasant and popular life, he lived one that only sought after the approval of an audience of one - God.

18 - the confession of the blind man

2009-11-11T08:14:00.001-08:00

john 9 depicts a man, blind from birth, receiving sight from Jesus on the sabbath, and being questioned.

his parents were so afraid of the jewish leaders, that they did not even try to answer the prosecuting questions, but rather, the parents deferred them to their very own son.

but this son was not afraid. in fact, he was almost insulted by their incompetence and was so matter of fact with them.

v24 - the pharisees say to him, "give glory to God! we know that this man is a sinner"

v25 - the man answers them, i am not sure if He(Jesus) is a sinner, but one thing i do know, i was blind, but now i see.

v26 - the pharisees still are stubborn and hardened in their hearts and so ask him again, how did He do this to you?

v28, 29 - the pharisees defy Jesus's authority and say legalistically, we are disciples of moses, but you are a disciple of Him. we know that God spoke to moses, but for this man, we do not know where he comes from.

v30 - the man, now aware of the hypocrisy and unable to disregard his miraculous experience declares, "what an amazing thing! he has opened my eyes and yet you say that you dont know where he comes from."

v31-33 - the man, is now coming to the realization that Jesus is in fact, the Christ - "we know that God does not listen to sinners, but if anyone is a worshipper of God and does His will, God listens to Him. never since the world began has it been heard that anyone opened the eyes of a man born blind. if this man were not from God, he could do nothing."

and having been cast out of the place, Jesus finds this man, and asks him:

v36 - "do you believe in the Son of Man?"

and finally, the blind man, now able to see, replies,

"Lord, i believe". and he worshiped Him.

Oh, how i long to be like this blind man. being almost forsaken by his parents to stand the questioning of the authorities, pressed about his experience with Jesus, he never wavered in his testimony about Him. although he didn't have a full understanding and confession in His heart that Jesus was the Christ when the questioning started, through the trials and tribulations and questioning that the pharisees placed upon him, by the end of it, the man was able to come to a full realization and conclude that Jesus is the Christ. and he worshiped Him.

once blind, now able to see. stood the trial unwavering his devotion to telling the truth as it is, and through it, became a believer. now, a worshiper.

in life, through the trials and tribulations, we may waver in our devotion and faith in God. but we must not forget. we must not dumb down the facts. we need the hardships in order to come to a fuller realization that Jesus is our Lord and Savior. and ultimately, it is through these experiences that we will ultimately worship Him.

17 - well if He did it then i guess...

2009-11-03T12:20:00.000-08:00

"And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone" (Matthew 14:23).
"And when it was day, he departed and went into a desolate place" (Luke 4:42).
"But he would withdraw to desolate places and pray" (Luke 5:16).
"In these dayshe went out to the mountain to pray, and all night he continued in prayer to God" (Luke 6:12).
"He took with him Peter and John and James and went up on the mountain to pray" (Luke 9:28).
"He departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed" (Mark 1:35).
"He went up on the mountain to pray" (Mark 6:46).

i guess i should go up the mountain and pray. off to bear mountain! hahah

something to get back to part deux

2009-10-23T13:37:00.001-07:00

oswald chambers never gets old!

How are we going to get a life that has no lust, no self-interest, and is not sensitive to the ridicule of others? How will we have the type of love that "is kind . . . is not provoked, [and] thinks no evil"? ( 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 ). The only way is by allowing nothing of the old life to remain, and by having only simple, perfect trust in God— such a trust that we no longer want God’s blessings, but only want God Himself. Have we come to the point where God can withdraw His blessings from us without our trust in Him being affected? Once we truly see God at work, we will never be concerned again about the things that happen, because we are actually trusting in our Father in heaven, whom the world cannot see.

something to get back to

2009-10-22T10:39:00.000-07:00

October 22, 2009

The Witness of the Spirit

The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit . . . —Romans 8:16

We are in danger of getting into a bargaining spirit with God when we come to Him— we want the witness of the Spirit before we have done what God tells us to do.

Why doesn’t God reveal Himself to you? He cannot. It is not that He will not, but He cannot, because you are in the way as long as you won’t abandon yourself to Him in total surrender. Yet once you do, immediately God witnesses to Himself— He cannot witness to you, but He instantly witnesses to His own nature in you. If you received the witness of the Spirit before the reality and truth that comes from obedience, it would simply result in sentimental emotion. But when you act on the basis of redemption, and stop the disrespectfulness of debating with God, He immediately gives His witness. As soon as you abandon your own reasoning and arguing, God witnesses to what He has done, and you are amazed at your total disrespect in having kept Him waiting. If you are debating as to whether or not God can deliver from sin, then either let Him do it or tell Him that He cannot. Do not quote this or that person to Him. Simply obey Matthew 11:28 , "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden . . . ." Come, if you are weary, and ask, if you know you are evil (see Luke 11:9-13 ).

The Spirit of God witnesses to the redemption of our Lord, and to nothing else. He cannot witness to our reason. We are inclined to mistake the simplicity that comes from our natural commonsense decisions for the witness of the Spirit, but the Spirit witnesses only to His own nature, and to the work of redemption, never to our reason. If we are trying to make Him witness to our reason, it is no wonder that we are in darkness and uncertainty. Throw it all overboard, trust in Him, and He will give you the witness of the Spirit.

16 - moving forward

2009-10-20T16:28:00.000-07:00

in many ways, i need to move forward. there is joy to be found in the immediate future, and far away future. this process is tough, and rough, but praise the Lord for His faithfulness and the knowing that He will not give anything more than i can bear.

from a john macarthur sermon:

"In thinking about the loss of my Mom this week, it was very hard to find joy in the midst of mulling about her death. In thinking of her as having a cerebral hemorrhage and falling to the floor, thinking of her not being around anymore and never seeing her and stuck in that moment, you find yourself almost overwhelmed by the sadness of the loss. As you think about it from a Christian perspective, it isn't long until you start thinking forward and you start thinking about the fact that beyond what occurred there is heaven and that's where she is and that's where she'll be when you arrive. You begin to think pass the moment of pain and the joy begins to break on you like the dawning light after a night of darkness. Whenever you encounter the variegated trials of life, whenever that happens, my brethren, begin to think forward, don't get stuck in...in this moment. Life...and I reminded my Dad of this again, he knows it well, he's preached it all his life...but I reminded him life is a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. It's a brief breath, this life, and when you think forward you think of reunions and you think of the glories of heaven and you think of eternal life, and you think of being made like Christ, eternal glory and blessing.

So, whenever you encounter these trials, you are to think forward to the joyous reality that is beyond. And not only in the case of a death, but in the case of an illness. Instead of getting wrapped up in the sadness of the immediate experience, you begin to think forward to...what?...to what God is producing through that. I think of the words of the apostle Paul who...who could think beyond his own pain, so much that he could say when I'm suffering I'm receiving the comfort of God in my suffering so that having learned that I'll be able to comfort you in your suffering. In going through my own pain now, I am being prepared in the future to be able to help you deal with your pain. In going through the frustration of loss and going through the unfulfilled dreams and having my goals never achieved, not getting the job I want, the education I want, the position I want, not getting what I want in my marriage or my family, or whatever it might be, I realize that even in the midst of that suffering God is burning away some of my pride, some of my ambition and God is reforming my waywardness and moving me more into the kind of suffering that refines me and makes me more like my Savior. And that's looking forward, isn't it? Can't get stuck in the midst of the pain and experience the joy. You've got to go forward."

and

"You see, that's very important to know. You need to know that. And I need to know that things don't happen in our lives just helter skelter. They don't happen in our lives willy-nilly, they don't happen in our lives by luck. It isn't just a bad day. There is a sovereign God working in the life of every believer purposely to achieve His end. I need to know that. If I don't understand that about my God, then I am really going to have a difficult time looking forward and finding that joy. If I believed that...as the latest wave of theologians are telling us, this new process theology...they're teaching that God is not who the Bible says He is, He's a work in process. And He's kind of scrambling along like the rest of us trying to sort it out and develop into what He ought to be. I am not interested in a God like that. I don't want a God who is up there trying to figure Himself out, sort through things and work His way up some...some spiritual ladder to become what He ought to be. God is not in process to become something He is not now. Scripture says that God is who He is and He's unchangeable. He doesn't need to change, never has, never will. I need to know who my God is. I need to have a sound theology. I need to have a sound understanding of the nature, the immutable, that's a word that means unchanging, the immutable, He doesn't mutate, He doesn't change, He doesn't alter. The character of God is fixed and established. I need to know not only that God is unchanging but that God is sovereign. That is to say that there is no power that can thwart His efforts."

15.5 - spiritual starvation

2009-10-20T08:19:00.000-07:00

being a Christian and not reading the Word is like a physically hungry and thirsty man that voluntarily continues to starve himself of physical food.

15 - what was meant for evil, God can make good.

2009-10-19T17:14:00.001-07:00

ive said it once, and ill say it again and again...and again. praise the Lord for the redemption of the internet! i still cant imagine how much of a blessing it is to have the resources that we Christians have in our generation. john piper at our fingertips! thoughts of driscoll on youtube! online webcasts of willow creek conferences.

truly, anything can be used for the glory of God.

here is another snippet i found that i found worth posting.

jon bloom in his article about "amazing grace in the wrekcage of adultery" writes:

"To those who, like David, have fallen, take heart. If you have repented and trust Christ, he has borne all your condemnation. And though you view with painful and appropriate regret the damage your adultery caused, keep your eyes open. It is like God to bring something unexpectedly and amazingly good from it. Because the grace of God is stronger than the sin of man."

again and again, God keeps putting the words "grace" and "mercy" into my life.

and ive found that in my current season, it is His grace and His mercy upon my life that causes me to rejoice in my sufferings. His grace is sufficient for me.

"not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings. because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.and hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

14 - faith glorifies God

2009-10-14T08:27:00.001-07:00

Illustration for Children: Why Faith Glorifies God

John Piper, from a sermon in 1999:

Your daddy is standing in a swimming pool out a little bit from the edge. You are, let’s say, three years old and standing on the edge of the pool. Daddy holds out his arms to you and says, “Jump, I’ll catch you. I promise.” Now, how do you make your daddy look good at that moment? Answer: trust him and jump. Have faith in him and jump. That makes him look strong and wise and loving. But if you won’t jump, if you shake your head and run away from the edge, you make your daddy look bad. It looks like you are saying, “he can’t catch me” or “he won’t catch me” or “it’s not a good idea to do what he tells me to do.” And all three of those make your dad look bad.
But you don’t want to make God look bad. So you trust him. Then you make him look good–which he really is. And that is what we mean when we say, “Faith glorifies God” or “Faith gives God glory.” It makes him look as good as he really is. So trusting God is really important.
And the harder it seems for him to fulfill his promise, the better he looks when you trust him. Suppose that you are at the deep end of a pool by the diving board. You are four years old and can’t swim, and your daddy is at the other end of the pool. Suddenly a big, mean dog crawls under the fence and shows his teeth and growls at you and starts coming toward you to bite you. You crawl up on the diving board and walk toward the end to get away from him. The dog puts his front paws up on the diving board. Just then, your daddy sees what’s happening and calls out, “Johnny, jump in the water. I’ll get you.”
Now, you have never jumped from one meter high and you can’t swim and your daddy is not underneath you and this water is way over your head. How do you make your daddy look good in that moment? You jump. And almost as soon as you hit the water, you feel his hands under your arms and he treads water holding you safely while someone chases the dog away. Then he takes you to the side of the pool.
We give glory to God when we trust him to do what he has promised to do–especially when all human possibilities are exhausted. Faith glorifies God. That is why God planned for faith to be the way we are justified.

13 - WOE IS ME

2009-10-11T23:34:00.000-07:00

taken from my xanga circa oct 3 2006:

before i start, i wanna say, i like school. i met some awesome people here and its a lot of fun, and i dont intend to drop out anytime soon, BUT......

im sitting in the library writing my article for the school newspaper (yes, i am in the school newspaper. heehee im a nerd and i love it)and i realize how much i loathe school.

good gosh man. im a junior now and time seems to go by faster and faster, yet a part of me wants this to blaze even quicker. and yes, ive heard all the mumbo jumbo about how college are the best years of your life. and yes they ARE....but OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL.

let's face it. let's be frank. let's be REAL. geneseo is a bubble. ive said this time and time again, and i say it now. GENESEO or is a BUBBLE. the more and more i experience life here, the more i realize that a lot of people here will only matter in the 4 small years i have here. and its unfortunate, but at the same time its something im learning to accept. college in general is an anomoly in that, you see these people MORE often than you would outside of college and you eat drink sleep college and work and papers, and you perpetually see teh same faces...etc.

and i talked about it recently, and i realized there is such a bigger world out there and so much more to do and see and experience. and after i considered what i would do AFTER college, geneseo just seemed like such a smaller and smaller place.

maybe this rule doenst apply to people that commute to school, like NYU for instance, but for geneseo. it applies all too well.

im really tired of school and geneseo as a whole. i want out. and thank goodness for this fall break.

OH...if i could travel back in time, i would go to this "sokin" or "david" or whatever you want to call me and say:

"LISTEN! college IS such a precious time!! dont waste it! take it slow and easy, SAVOR every moment you have with your friends because listen kiddo, life just gets harder after you leave this place. yes, its a bubble. yes, it is like you said it - geneseo really is a fabrication of what the real world is like out there...but let me tell ya, i would MUCH rather be in that bubble a little while longer. stop and smell the roses. and then take a step back and smell the roses you missed. stop trying to blaze through life. dont waste this moment..."

so yeah. but at the same time, i feel like i should be telling myself this advice right now. i keep looking back. when will i start looking at the future with the same kind of excitement and joy?

12 - not to us.

2009-10-07T10:59:00.000-07:00

"A man cannot redeem himself— redemption is the work of God, and is absolutely finished and complete. And its application to individual people is a matter of their own individual action or response to it. A distinction must always be made between the revealed truth of redemption and the actual conscious experience of salvation in a person’s life."
oswald chambers

ive been reminded again and again that everything in the Christian life is utterly, completely, without exception, contingent on what He did and not what we do.

not i. but Him.

it stems to small groups as well. no matter how much i yearn for my freshman small group - or even seniors for that matter - to become the most holy and God-loving/fearing guys ever...ive recognized that theres only so much i can do to persuade them.

eventually, its the work of God in their lives and the power of the Holy Spirit that they will be transformed.

i think this realization should be freeing but many times, the realization is lost. im so easy to forget that i need not worry about the little things in life. its too much of a common occurrence that i rely on my own actions and my own mindset before focusing on Jesus and the work of God in my life.

psalm 115:1
not to us, O Lord, not to us
but to Your name be the glory,
because of Your love and faithfulness

----------
on a lighter note, i realized that this blog is quite...well...um, BLOGGY. like its so heavy and serious (not that being serious is a bad thing) but after reading my old xanga entries, i realized that ive become quite melancholy over the years. i guess its what you call, age.
but nonetheless, im gonna try posting up some more...."less-serious" things in the future.

but if anyone is interested, i twitter and also have a tumblr that is more of my day-to-day thoughts and stuff.

okay. i am talking too much. good bye.

11 - comfort, comfort God's people

2009-10-04T21:20:00.000-07:00

i'm going to hold onto isaiah 40 as if my life depended on it.

im slowly losing motivation... it's getting hard. its so easy to look elsewhere for strength and renewal, but my heart knows i can only find it at the foot of the Cross. so to the Cross i'll go.

²⁸ Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

²⁹ He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

³¹ but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

10 - the real Jesus

2009-09-23T09:13:00.000-07:00

"There is a strong drift toward the hard theological left. Some emergent types [want] to recast Jesus as a limp-wrist hippie in a dress with a lot of product in His hair, who drank decaf and made pithy Zen statements about life while shopping for the perfect pair of shoes. In Revelation, Jesus is a prize fighter with a tattoo down His leg, a sword in His hand and the commitment to make someone bleed. That is a guy I can worship. I cannot worship the hippie, diaper, halo Christ because I cannot worship a guy I can beat up. I fear some are becoming more cultural than Christian, and without a big Jesus who has authority and hates sin as revealed in the Bible, we will have less and less Christians, and more and more confused, spiritually self-righteous blogger critics of Christianity."

revelation 19:11-21 literally knocked me off my feet. the book of revelation is BADASS.

especially this part in the end.

revelation 22:20 - He who testifies to these things says, "Yes, I am coming soon." Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.

9.5 - whats the word?

2009-09-20T20:50:00.000-07:00

carl henry speaking on the inspiration and authority of Scripture:

"Revelation is God's gracious self disclosure whereby He forfeits his own personal privacy so that his sinful creatures could know Him."

what is the word that describes the feeling you have when you are so thankful for the mercy of someone so great?

the image i have in my mind is a person laying prostrate, weeping before God, so wrought with feelings of guilt and shame and love and gratitude because a God so great has given so much through the person of Jesus and also the giving of God's Word at the expense of His privacy. he didn't need to do these things, but he did.

whats the word that describes how the man feels in this scenario? its a mixture of all these emotions.

the word is on the tip of my tongue but it escapes me.

9 - for a friend

2009-09-03T12:10:00.000-07:00

for a friend.

Nothing can separate
Even if I ran away
Your love never fails

I know I still make mistakes
But You have new mercies for me everyday
Your love never fails

Chorus:
You stay the same through the ages
Your love never changes
There maybe pain in the night but joy comes in the morning

And when the oceans rage
I don't have to be afraid
Because I know that You love me
Your love never fails

Verse 2:
The wind is strong and the water's deep
But I'm not alone in these open seas
Cause Your love never fails

The chasm is far too wide
I never thought I'd reach the other side
But Your love never fails

Bridge:
You make all things work together for my good

8 - thank you Jesus

2009-08-29T22:07:00.000-07:00

on sin : ¹⁵I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ¹⁶And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. ¹⁸I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.^"For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ¹⁹For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. ²⁰Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

²¹So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. ²²For in my inner being I delight in God's law; ²³but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. ²⁴What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?

romans 7:15-24

on victory : ¹⁵He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. ¹⁶For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. ¹⁷He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. ¹⁸And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy.¹⁹For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, ²⁰and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.

²¹Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. ²²But now he has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation— ²³if you continue in your faith, established and firm, not moved from the hope held out in the gospel. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have become a servant.

colossians 1:15-23

²⁵Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

romans 7:25

7.55 - "i dont want to be a Christian"

2009-08-26T23:19:00.000-07:00

sometimes i have these random feelings of, "i wish i wasnt Christian."

dont jump the gun just yet. what i mean is, sometimes, i imagine what my life would be like if i was born as a non-believer, or maybe even a sunday church goer, but didnt take the path of life i am living now.

i like to sit in the passenger side of cars sometimes because i can stare out the window and observe the world around me. i guess its my meloncholy side, but i love to do this especially in the city. there i can peer through windows and see how people are living, notice the cars people are driving, notice the people on the sidewalks. what they're doing, eating, drinking, smoking..whatever.

and i often say to myself (and others), i sometimes wish i could be like them.

i sometimes wish i could be working making lots of money, partying at nights, living in a nice place in the city, driving any car i want, meeting many people and doing it over and over again. and ive done that here and there during college. but sometimes, i imagine doing it everynight. and the scary part is, i think i would rather enjoy it.

in an alternate life, i fantasize about myself having tatoos, piercings (not saying any of these are un-Christian), a mean mug on my face and a lifestyle to match.

and then i remember the Cross. i remember my sin. i remember that my forefathers lived a life before me, neglecting their Creator, and many paid the price for it. i remember that the life i am living now is by unimaginable Grace and Mercy and Love and Compassion from God. i remember that i am living this life i live because God's salvation arm was mighty to save.

my flesh desires what the world craves and offers. careless love, sex, materialistic pornography, money, success, godlike fame, unceasing fortune, food... it still desires these things at a regular basis.

but i reminded that it is my flesh, which will come to pass. like psalm 4:7, "there is greater joy" and that joy is found in Jesus.

Driscoll in his book, Death by Love, writes about how:

Jesus is our Substitutionary Atonement.

Jesus is our Christus Victor.

Jesus is our Redemption.

Jesus is our New covenant sacrifice.

Jesus is our Righteousness.

Jesus is our Justification.

Jesus is our Propitiation.

Jesus is our Expiation.

Jesus is our Atonement.

Jesus is our Ransom.

Jesus is our Christus Exemplar.

Jesus is our Reconciliation.

Jesus is our Revelation.

Jesus should be my sustenance. i should be desiring Jesus, not the world.

and so, although my flesh is always desiring the world, i find myself echoing Paul where he wrote in Phil 3:12-14

¹²Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. ¹³Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

7.5 - journal vomit

2009-08-23T01:10:00.000-07:00

GAH!

i am back from mongolia mission trip 2009, and my oh my, was God at work there. if there are a couple of things i can quickly point out about my summer experience, it is:

1. God is moving! Swiftly, quickly, and powerfully. I was in awe of His Spirit and the realization that the Lord is truly the Lord of all.

2. GRACE. God's grace to be exact. i can trust in none other.

3. battle. there is spiritual battle waged against us/me everyday. i must put on the armor of God. ephesians 6 for real. or else, satan will beat me up.

other than that, i have been busy with campus prep, family stuff, personal stuff, just stuff in general. i dont think i have been maximally using my time wisely, but i have been busy.

laziness has come upon me this summer like none other. especially in the area of journaling. i have always been known to be an avid and faithful journaler, but this year, i was horrible at it! horrible!

on top of that, i have been bad about keeping my blogs updated. shame on me. ill try to post stuff up more consistently (we'll see...) but i have realized again, how important and helpful it can be to write down and journal thoughts.

and finally, it is that season of going to college. and man, do i miss college again. im thinking of planning a trip soon to upstate/western ny sometime soon. maybe for a personal retreat. i was looking through old photos and videos of my college years, again. and it makes me wonder why i am so sentimental about it. it kinda makes me feel like a girl. im a man! wth! haha.

but anyways, thats whats going on in my life currently. its way too late to be posting but its just one of those nights.

and thats that. it feels good to write a nonsense entry again. kinda reminds me of my xanga days.

sokin.

7. may God help me. Amen.

2009-06-23T21:12:00.000-07:00

you probably noticed that little quote on the top of my blog.

if you did a little spelunkering, you probably found out it is german.

if you did a little more snooping, you found out it was said by martin luther.

in the diet of worms, luther stood before a council. they spread out a bunch of his works and they asked him whether the works were his, and if he stood by them.

after some time of consultation and prayer, he said in essence - that he could not retract these statements because he felt convinced otherwise, by the Holy Spirit and the Bible that his words, were in fact, truest in its intent, and inspired from the Bible.

he then said at the end his speech, those famous words,

"Hier stehe ich. Ich kann nicht anders. Gott helfe mir. Amen."

"Here I stand. I can do no other. God help me. Amen."

when things go awry, or people are highly skeptical of what i am doing as a staff worker.

when ministry on campus is stagnant, and the enemy is deceiving my heart and discouraging me.

when the culture of the day seeks to destroy and pervert the messages and inerrancy of the Bible.

when non-believers scorn you.

when spiritual battles get tough.

i simply have to look to the God who has called me, who has given me new life, and simply stand before it all and persevere.

May God help me. Amen.

off to Mongolia!

6 - i was good!!!

2009-06-12T21:19:00.000-07:00

living in the youtube generation isnt half as bad as it seems. we have a plethora of resources to watch and view people preach, where in any other situation, would have difficulty see.

yay for the supremacy of Christ in all things, EVEN the internet! long live the sanctification of youtube!

anyways, this clip is fire.

"you let our wife leave us, you let a girl break our hearts, you let us not get into the school we wanted to get into, you let our parents divorce...and our mindset is, I WAS GOOD. and THIS is how you repay me...i did this, i did this, i did this, YOU owe ME!"

my, how often i fell to this sort of thinking. its so easy to get caught up in the supremacy of Sokin, rather than focus on the supremacy of Christ in all things. as if i deserve anything.

i am but a sick, perverted, lowly, despicable, fallen, cruel, sinner. the list can go on for miles. but the miracle of Calvary has turned me into something God can look upon and see not the sick, perverted, lowly, despicable, fallen, cruel sinner. but all God sees, is Christ.

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
2 corinthians 5:17

what a miracle.

5.5

2009-06-06T18:30:00.001-07:00

obvious epiphany of the day:

i need to practice what i preach.

5. i give up!

2009-05-24T09:22:00.000-07:00

"The song was written while I was conducting a meeting at East Palestine, Ohio, in the home of George Sebring (founder of the Sebring Campmeeting Bible Conference in Sebring, Ohio, and later developer of the town of Sebring, Florida). For some time, I had struggled between developing my talents in the field of art and going into full-time evangelistic work. At last the pivotal hour of my life came, and I surrendered all. A new day was ushered into my life. I became an evangelist and discovered down deep in my soul a talent hitherto unknown to me. God had hidden a song in my heart, and touching a tender chord, He caused me to sing."
-Winfield S. Weeden, 1896

All to Jesus, I surrender;
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.

Refrain

I surrender all, I surrender all,
All to Thee, my blessèd Savior,
I surrender all.

All to Jesus I surrender;
Humbly at His feet I bow,
Worldly pleasures all forsaken;
Take me, Jesus, take me now.

Refrain

All to Jesus, I surrender;
Make me, Savior, wholly Thine;
Let me feel the Holy Spirit,
Truly know that Thou art mine.

Refrain

All to Jesus, I surrender;
Lord, I give myself to Thee;
Fill me with Thy love and power;
Let Thy blessing fall on me.

Refrain

All to Jesus I surrender;
Now I feel the sacred flame.
O the joy of full salvation!
Glory, glory, to His Name!

---------------------------------
my friend eric sang this song at a gethsemane prayer meeting one friday night as i was contemplating what my next step in life should be.

should i continue the work i was currently employed in? should i give it all up and join staff with KCCC? should i take a year off and go traveling? should i do this, should i do that...

and i realized that the answer was simple : surrender

surrender my life, my dreams, my hopes. my expectations, my rights, my everything.

everything to God, everything at his hands, i decided that in whatever circumstance, without full surrender to Jesus, you will always be under a great burden, a great weight on your shoulders called life.

its no wonder why my favorite verse is:
²⁸"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
matthew 11:28-30

sokin.

4.5 - they are not impressed!

2009-05-11T14:40:00.001-07:00

"The world is rarely impacted and drawn to Jesus Christ through the sight of Christians prospering. No, it’s through seeing believers suffering but not giving up that the skeptics change their minds. Perhaps the most important ministry you’ll ever have is when people see how you react to the pain they go through all of the time. Difficulty is the agent which often allows people an opportunity to see the reality of Jesus Christ most clearly."
-jon courson

YES! this reminded me of a quote that i heard piper say in a sermon jam. (thanks to eric park for the link)

6:30-6:43
"brothers and sisters, the sweetest fellowship with your Savior and your treasure that you will ever know, is the fellowship of His sufference."

proverbs 30:8
⁸ Keep falsehood and lies far from me;
give me neither poverty nor riches,
but give me only my daily bread.

amen.

sokin.

4. worship in spirit and in truth

2009-05-04T21:34:00.000-07:00

ever since i joined a praise team circa junior high school days i fell in love with Christian music.

so from a young age, i was very receptive and responded well to praise songs and Christian music. i realized the full power that music had on a person's worship experience. and the more and more i live my life, i see how important praise music is, and how much it can draw us closer to God.

but the issue of which Christian songs i like to listen to have changed over the years and is still changing now.

for instance, michael w. smith has that famous song, "above all" where he says,

"like a rose trampled on the ground, you took the fall, and thought of me, above all.

when Jesus died on the cross, yes he died for sins, but depending on what you interpret from scripture, the question remains, for whom and for what purpose did Jesus die for?

when Jesus died, i seem to align with the idea that He wasn't thinking so much of you, ABOVE ALL.

He was thinking about the glory of God, the glorification and victory that God was to receive from His sacrifice on the Cross.

the Crucifixion is not about ME, NOR YOU. it's about the glory of God.

on the contrary, songs that my ears have been itching for more and more have been hymns and oldschool poems. i never realized how powerful some of these lyrics were until i encountered them again. they speak so much truth and are able to package it in just a couple of lines. here is one that really hit me powerfully recently:

there is a fountain filled with blood, drawn from Immanuel's veins. and sinners plunged beneath that flood - lose all their guilty stains.

i think its a delicate process of figuring out what things are good for me, and what things arent. the idea that, as Paul perfectly put it, some things are permissable yet not beneficial. yes, he was talking in the context of sexual immorality here but for me, i think it applies in a life context as well.

im not saying that i sneer and hate people who listen to michael w. smith. nor am i saying that when a church sings, "above all", i just fold my arms and sit down and glare at the worship leader. in fact, ill sing it. and i DEFINATELY am not saying that michael w. smith is any less Christian that i am. in fact, im sure he loves the Lord a wholeee lot.

all im saying is that, these days, ive been getting this feeling that i need to really be serious with the things i put into my body and mind, and that it is as important as the food i choose to eat and the things i choose to watch. i hope to never force my ideas and thoughts upon others and never downplay anyone that doesnt agree with my thoughts.

for me, its things ive been thinking about and wondering how it should shape my life. i dont want to be legalistic with all this but there are just some things that i choose to say, "thanks, but no thanks" to.

sokin.

3.5 - Jesus wants the rose!

2009-04-29T00:03:00.000-07:00

youtube is fantabulous. not only can you watch old tv shows of old, but you have a ton of resources from famous pastors at your fingertips. i cant seem to remember life before youtube. heh.

"the church more often than not, was an enemy of conversion and not its friend."

how ironic, yet true.

this video gave me chills.

sokin.

3. what's stopping you?

2009-04-26T14:15:00.000-07:00

i came across this video for the first time a couple of years back while i was in geneseo. at the time, i didnt really think much of it. i thought it was cool. maybe even a bit heart-piercing, but i quickly forgot about it afterwards.

but i randomly decided to listen to it again and it really hit me twice as hard.

i originally wrote a whole long blog post about what i think a "church" should be like and wondering why my own church back at home was suffering so much. but i realized that more than that, it was important to see that simply our perception of God, and the life that Jesus called us to live can make or break the way we live as Christians and they way we view and practice, "church".

please, watch it if you have been feeling seemingly luke-warm in your faith. watch it if you are a Christian, yet you dont know how quite to reconcile the life we feel like we should live on earth as opposed to the one Christ says we are to expect as His followers. watch it if you have time on your hands(you must have some time on your hands if youre reading this blog, haha)

i have a couple of sticky notes on my desktop because i have stunningly horrible memory these days (uh oh..) but one of the notes i wrote on it was something i wrote one night as i was reflecting on my life as a christian and what it meant to me.

the sticky note simply reads, "WHAT'S STOPPING YOU?"

i think what i was going through at the time, and something that ive been wrestling with for a long time is the fact that, i genuinely feel that if i am a Christian, my life should be DRASTICALLY, RADICALLY, FOREVER different from the one im living now. yes, some of you might say, "sokin you are joining as a full time staff worker, that's pretty bold."

but honestly, i dont think this is true. for me, i constantly have this feeling that being a Christian implies SO MUCH MORE than the life im living now. and francis hits upon a couple of these points in this sermon. that as a Christian, what is stopping me from denying my right to a prosperous income. what is stopping me from denying my right to a family, a big house, nice car, and personal security? what is stopping me from worshipping God and praising God in all circumstances, undignified? what's stopping me from fasting and praying and seeking for God to set me on fire for Him so that i can live my life for the sake of others?

if you know me, i LOVE LOVE LOVE cars and things like that. im not very vocal about the things i love but youd be surprised at how much i covet material goods. but more and more i realize, i dont really need any of that stuff. i really dont. i dont need to buy a new bass guitar. i dont need to buy new sneakers. i dont need a new computer. i dont need much of anything than my daily sustenance.

but yet i do desire it much. i constantly desire bigger and better things. and im always struggling with that.

im not saying that as Christians, we are supposed to live as beggars.

but what i am saying, and thinking these days is:

"what if i denied myself so much so that i wouldnt mind to live as a beggar, if for the sake of Christ and His gospel?"

what is exactly stopping me from living a life where i can "take up His cross" and follow after Him? what is stopping me from seeing that i realistically and practically only have about 60 more active, physically able years to do something with this life. as john piper would say, "to not waste my life?"

i think whats ultimately stopping me is, is this world and the 20+ years of living under the assumption that all these "things" are good and worth it. but the bible clearly says its not.

i pray that i may live like this one day. Lord, may i live the life you intended me to live.

²⁴Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.²⁵For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.

matthew 16:24,25

sokin.

(sorry about the long post! i got to clarify a lot of my thinking while i wrote so it came out longer than expected. and i also apologize if it sounds "preach-y". i really wasnt trying but more so, i think i was writing more to myself than anything. and if you read this whole thing and made it this far, AND ended up watching the clip. kudos to you! i will buy you chicken and rice when i get back to nyc, haha)

2.5 - random thought

2009-04-21T11:11:00.001-07:00

i always always always used to have this feeling that i just have wayyyy too much going on in my head. this feeling usually comes when i feel overwhelmed with too many things to deal with and think about, with too little time, and too much of a desire to do it all. i satrt thinking about stuff and how things might be different, or could be different and i run circles in my head.

during these times what i want to do MOST is run away to a far away place, preferably somewhere like europe where noone knows me. and be alone. well, me and God.

i think that's what a REAL retreat is supposed to be. run away. to turn away. not like the "retreats" we are used to as sunday church goers.

yeah. i need a retreat. i just want to go backpacking in europe by myself like RIGHT NOW. i dont think ive ever done that before. i think i should someday.

2. would john piper ever use the Four Spiritual Laws?

2009-04-19T21:24:00.000-07:00

if you notice my left hand blog column, you can probably see that ive been reading up a lot on Calvinist theology and have been pretty interested in following the movement as a whole.

i think people like Driscoll, Piper, CJ Mahaney, Matt Chandler and a whole lot of others have been really REALLY God-inspired and blessed and ive been eating up their stuff for as long as ive been in cali. i would recommend them to anyone, anytime.

but today, as i checked the Desiring God blog, i came across Piper's new post: (link)

Mark 8:34-36:

If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?

as most people may automatically recognize, the phrase "God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life" is taken directly from Bill Bright, and CCC's Four Spiritual Laws tract.

ive come across alot of "cults" on campus here at UCI. specifically, the group, "christian students" have been really strong on this campus and i saw them regularly spreading their tracts on campus. i didnt know they were sorta, "cultish" in their doctrine and ways until a team member pointed it out to me, and upon some investigation, i realized that they were in fact, led by the International Church of Christ(Icoc) structure and had ties to the Boston Church of Christ. you can look up the info on your own if you want, as to why many people consider them to be "cultish".

anyways, i never ever thought, that i would see the Four Spiritual Laws tract being questioned, let alone by someone as influential as John Piper.

i still am in the process of digesting this and trying to work out ways where i can reconcile the Four Spiritual Laws and my own, personal convictions and theological thoughts since coming to GCTC training. so i can't say if i disagree with this or not.

but a couple of things i can be certain of is that:

1. God has used the 4SL time and time again to bring people to at least fix their eyes and look at Christ for what He has done for us on the Cross.

2. God has used the 4SL to being people to a point of decision and have made sincere, heartfelt decisions to acknowledge their sinfulness, their inability to help themselves, and have made a decision to have faith that through Christ and Christ alone can we know God and be looked at with Christ's righteousness.

3. the 4SL does have some questionable bible verses that seemingly have nothing to do with salvation - the most obvious being revelation 3:20.

4. the bulk of CCC's method of training people to become followers of Christ come after the 4SL - through discipleship and training, etc.

5. God will still continue to bring people to know Him through Jesus via the 4SL for years and years to come.

6. i wouldnt call the 4SL or the CCC movement for that matter, anywhere close to known prosperity gospel teaching ministries (ie. joel osteen)

7. sometimes i did feel that the 4SL did need some updating here and there. yes, it does present a simplified gospel, but is that enough?

yeah, so like i said, im still digesting all this and am trying to find out what i think about this topic.

but what do you guys think?

sokin.

1. life as it is right now...

2009-04-04T11:41:00.000-07:00

my life (for the past 3 months or so...)

1. gctc - its been about 3 months since ive been in cali, and i have about a month left in training. ive been learning lots and lots and lots, and have been broken and stretched lots and lots and lots. (i swear, i will get my newsletter out in teh coming week. IM SORRY!!)

2. commentaries - since ive been here, i suddenly got bit by the i-should-be-a-better-Christian-bug, and ive been eating up commentaries and stuff online. couple of the sites i visit on a frequent basis have been :

-the resurgence(theresurgence.com) - mark driscoll and co. site that strives to be a:

"...movement that resources multiple generations to live for Jesus so that they can effectively reach their cities with the Gospel by staying culturally accessible and Biblically faithful."

-thegospelcoalition.org - has lots of good insights and links from preachers and teachers.

-desiringgod.org - john piper. you know.

definatey recommend anyone to check out these sites! but, one thing struck me as i was reading up on all these sites and blogs, which brings me to #3...

3. bible - ...i needed to read my bible more. so essentially, ive been trying to read as much bible as i could in the past few weeks. mark driscoll asked his pastor which book/commentary he recommended and the pastor took his bible and said, "have you started with this one?"

so yeah. that pretty much sums up the same conviction i had.

4. soccer - the LA KCCC director here is absolutely bonkers, head-over-heels in love with the game of soccer. so much so that i ended up buying soccer cleats for myself so that i could run better on teh field. i havent gotten any better than i started out with and on top of that, you would expect me to lose some weight but i havent...

5/6. in-n-out /dduk bo ssam - i will definately miss these things when i go back to ny. i joke around with my gctc people here saying that im gonna franhise an in-n-out in the east coast and also open up a dduk bo ssam jip. they laugh and think im funny. im completely serious.

7. UCI - ministry in irvine has been an awesome learning experience, but also a humbling one. i realized that i have a lot to learn when it comes to connecting with new people. if you know me, you know im not very good at making first impressions. but thank God for the irvine guys and gals that i met cause they are much better at this thing called, "communication". -_-

8. flip-flops - the weather since ive been here has been consistently cool, but not too cold. warm, but not hot. in one word, perfect!

thats about it. now gotta go back to studying. till next time,

sokin.